Bye..we're off to Bangkok!
Shop. shop. shop!:P
Shiok!Tat's all i need.
A short getaway to relax and read a book n most importantly a hubby to carry my luggage n pay 4 the shopping! haha:) Funz...
Friday, December 28, 2007
Tuesday, December 25, 2007
Demise of a faithful servant :(
Epitath of Canon A95, S/No 9246212741:
You have seen what I have seen,
You have recorded with fidelity.
My many memories are preserved
by your unbiased view and memory
Alas, you have served me well.
I will miss you immensely.
Even as you now rot in the metal junkheap,
I will weep as I procure your successor.
Weep with a joyful shopping glee, that is :)
You have seen what I have seen,
You have recorded with fidelity.
My many memories are preserved
by your unbiased view and memory
Alas, you have served me well.
I will miss you immensely.
Even as you now rot in the metal junkheap,
I will weep as I procure your successor.
Weep with a joyful shopping glee, that is :)
Saturday, December 22, 2007
Retreat!
Hi everyone,
Please note that we have booked the chalet for our Annual Small Group Ministry Retreat:
Date: 4-6 Jan 2008 ( Fri-Sun)
Venue: Costa Sands Resort, Pasir Ris
Tentative Programme:
Friday Afternoon - Optional session for fun (boardgames, relaxing, etc).
Friday Evening - Food, food, food!
Saturday - Reflection and sharing. Planning and prayer.
Sunday - Go to church together. :)
This will be a time for reflection and recommitment to the Lord's service for 2008,
All are welcome, regular members & interested visitors as well.
Further details coming soon! Book your dates!!! :)
Please note that we have booked the chalet for our Annual Small Group Ministry Retreat:
Date: 4-6 Jan 2008 ( Fri-Sun)
Venue: Costa Sands Resort, Pasir Ris
Tentative Programme:
Friday Afternoon - Optional session for fun (boardgames, relaxing, etc).
Friday Evening - Food, food, food!
Saturday - Reflection and sharing. Planning and prayer.
Sunday - Go to church together. :)
This will be a time for reflection and recommitment to the Lord's service for 2008,
All are welcome, regular members & interested visitors as well.
Further details coming soon! Book your dates!!! :)
Thursday, December 20, 2007
Christmas shopaholics!
It's christmas AGAIN! Somehow tis yr, christmas tends to be a little more sentimental as our next christmas in S'pore could just be in 2010. In our cab,Terence & i saw the christmas lights in Orchard on Tues and n it's juz beautiful. For that instance, i thought i may jus miss Singapore n wonder how's christmas gotta be like in US. Anyway, our application to IBC is like pending for really quite some time n we're juz waiting n waiting. We just trust that if it's God's will, He will open the doors for us to go US. If not, He will open other doors for us!
OKOK, back to christmas! So we went Christmas shoppiNg today! FAbulous coz i have Terence all to myelf and i luv it!!!!:P Call me girlie, mushy or whatever, but i juz like to hold his hand up n down the escalator, down the malls. I thought that it's quite romantic to juz being with a loved one,knowing that our hearts are one in Christ and Christ is the author of our love story.
During my teenage yrs, romance is like flowers, candlelight dinners. But, in my Uni days, i remember asking myself what romance is and what i truly seek for! i know in my heart then that romance is simply able to worship God together with that special someone u love, able to stand b4 God together.
i imagine myself holding the hands of my loved one admiring the majestic mountains by the blue seas, singing praise songs to God for His creation. i thought that it's like so cool,so sweet, so warm-hearted! A new revelation for young me! One of the many dreams that i have when i was jus young, impulsive,imaginative n daydreams of the future! haha:P How many can stand b4 God wholeheartedly with a man they know has been called by God to be your husband? Many ask me how i know Terence is the one! Well,my answer: if ur heart is with God, u will know Him n His answer. Seek n find God's will with your heart, mind n soul with total obedience n submission.
Anyway, back to christmas!! We bought lotsa pressies! Want to bless our frens, family and church frens who have been a blessing to us, especially those from our small group! It's juz a way to let them know that we luv them so much!
All we bought! Spent some time wrapping but hey, i enjoy it! Wrapping presents is juz therapeutic for me! I enjoy packaging boring things till they become beautiful. Perhaps it's juz my marketing genes.
So, this fall, we introduce to u: 3 winter collections created by the Leongs...
The 1st collection: Shimmering White, SIlver n gold.......Classic and classy!
The 2nd collection: White Winter Wonderland illuminated with ferries wheels. My favourite of all!
The 3nd collection: Distinct Signature Red to mark colourful christmas!
Every christmas is diff. Last yr, i feel colourful with all the christmas fun with frens! ANd tis christmas, i have the WHiteY winter feel- warm n cosy! i imagine being by the fire in the cold winter with all my frens with hot soup. A cosy feeling. SO here's the cards to express howi feel tis yr! How do u feel this christmas?
So what's the true meaning of christmas? HAve u ever thought of it? To find out more, do join us for a
WHITE CHRISTMAS HIGH TEA
22 Dec 2007 ( Sat)
2-5pm
Baptist Fellowship Church
3/3A Lichfield Rd S 56823
Bring along a christmas gift of about $10.
See u there! :)
OKOK, back to christmas! So we went Christmas shoppiNg today! FAbulous coz i have Terence all to myelf and i luv it!!!!:P Call me girlie, mushy or whatever, but i juz like to hold his hand up n down the escalator, down the malls. I thought that it's quite romantic to juz being with a loved one,knowing that our hearts are one in Christ and Christ is the author of our love story.
During my teenage yrs, romance is like flowers, candlelight dinners. But, in my Uni days, i remember asking myself what romance is and what i truly seek for! i know in my heart then that romance is simply able to worship God together with that special someone u love, able to stand b4 God together.
i imagine myself holding the hands of my loved one admiring the majestic mountains by the blue seas, singing praise songs to God for His creation. i thought that it's like so cool,so sweet, so warm-hearted! A new revelation for young me! One of the many dreams that i have when i was jus young, impulsive,imaginative n daydreams of the future! haha:P How many can stand b4 God wholeheartedly with a man they know has been called by God to be your husband? Many ask me how i know Terence is the one! Well,my answer: if ur heart is with God, u will know Him n His answer. Seek n find God's will with your heart, mind n soul with total obedience n submission.
Anyway, back to christmas!! We bought lotsa pressies! Want to bless our frens, family and church frens who have been a blessing to us, especially those from our small group! It's juz a way to let them know that we luv them so much!
All we bought! Spent some time wrapping but hey, i enjoy it! Wrapping presents is juz therapeutic for me! I enjoy packaging boring things till they become beautiful. Perhaps it's juz my marketing genes.
So, this fall, we introduce to u: 3 winter collections created by the Leongs...
The 1st collection: Shimmering White, SIlver n gold.......Classic and classy!
The 2nd collection: White Winter Wonderland illuminated with ferries wheels. My favourite of all!
The 3nd collection: Distinct Signature Red to mark colourful christmas!
Every christmas is diff. Last yr, i feel colourful with all the christmas fun with frens! ANd tis christmas, i have the WHiteY winter feel- warm n cosy! i imagine being by the fire in the cold winter with all my frens with hot soup. A cosy feeling. SO here's the cards to express howi feel tis yr! How do u feel this christmas?
So what's the true meaning of christmas? HAve u ever thought of it? To find out more, do join us for a
WHITE CHRISTMAS HIGH TEA
22 Dec 2007 ( Sat)
2-5pm
Baptist Fellowship Church
3/3A Lichfield Rd S 56823
Bring along a christmas gift of about $10.
See u there! :)
Street E and Flu Woes
Arrrggh! I hate my flu bug!!! I think I coughed at least 500 times during the 3 hours during Street E. And I coughed so hard that my head started throbbing, threatening to implode within my skull in protest.
On a better note, thank God that one guy got saved. Just happened that he was in the same school as Zegang, and Jonathan gave him the gospel and he accepted Christ. And he should be coming for this Saturday's Christmas party as well. God works in marvellous ways!
After the debrief, reached home at around midnight. Tried to sleep after the bath, but kept coughing until I dunno when. Only after Daphne roused me to eat Peipakao that the coughing receded somewhat. Thankfully, exhaustion took over, and the next thing I knew was morning, and for once, I'm not as energetic and alive at 8am like most days. Anyway, today's a public holiday. Time to relax, do some Christmas shopping, and spend some quality time with my dear wife.
Ciao! :)
On a better note, thank God that one guy got saved. Just happened that he was in the same school as Zegang, and Jonathan gave him the gospel and he accepted Christ. And he should be coming for this Saturday's Christmas party as well. God works in marvellous ways!
After the debrief, reached home at around midnight. Tried to sleep after the bath, but kept coughing until I dunno when. Only after Daphne roused me to eat Peipakao that the coughing receded somewhat. Thankfully, exhaustion took over, and the next thing I knew was morning, and for once, I'm not as energetic and alive at 8am like most days. Anyway, today's a public holiday. Time to relax, do some Christmas shopping, and spend some quality time with my dear wife.
Ciao! :)
Sunday, December 16, 2007
1st pressies!
The PressieS ready to be unwrapped!
DAPHNE SAYS........
Went back to my parents place for weekly dinner. Sunday is always the family day with the Tans. As usual, mum cooked...nagged about how unhealthy outside food was, boasted about her organic brown rice n indirectly started the " why we should not take white rice theory". Over her organic orange juice which she happily served with a glee, she n dad kinda went on with how to discipline kids and Pastor Lawrence Khong's fantastic disciplining kids tapes.
Well, it's juz her and dad...some years back, they were into health talks... and they dragged me n sis to those health talks held at some super remote churches. That period of time, every meal time, they kinda educated me n sis how many injections chickens went thru, why we should take fruits 1/2 hr b4 meals. Imagine having blended fruit juice every morning, fruits b4 dinner<>, and best of all, something i aways remember...-my mum will bring raw carrots and celery sticks for us to eat in the car on my way to church. I HATE CELERY!
In the past, I used to simply entertain the nagging by shutting off and jus smiled. However, come to think of it, having been married for nearly 3 yrs, it's good to be back to hear my parents' nagging n theories every week. i do miss the nagging and their theories. :P It's always so " warm" and "comfortable" to be back with your own family.
Anyway, they gave us our first christmas gifts this year:
From dad and mum: Stripped Bossini Polo T for Terence and Pastel Towel set for me.
From Sis n bro-in-law: My sis reallie knows my heart and what i fancy! I luv her pressie! Evelyn Rose Perfume from Crabtree! i luv the packaging. it's silver, classy! And convenient to carry around in a neat handbag.
So blessed by them. i luv my family! :)
Been so bz with the cantata n no time for shopping. Feel so guilty that i have not bought anything for them.Well, next week will probably be christmas shopping time!
Cantata. Praise God for souls saved!
Thursday, Final Rehearsal
When I woke up for work in the morning, I could feel the flu bug creeping up on me: runny nose, chilly hands, whole body very nua. The air con in office didn't help things, so I set it to fan mode, but it still wasn't comfortable. Sigh. Too many emails to send and I left about 2pm, sigh....By the time I reached home, I was like super exhausted.
Measured my temperature, 37.0 deg. Started packing to leave at 3.20pm, and kinda slumped on the sofa. No strength to move. Went to lie down in bed. Took my temperature, and it shot up to 37.7 deg. Daphne went to ACS herself first. Closed my eyes and almost didn't wake up when Daphne called home to tell me to get to ACS for 2nd rehearsal after dinner.
Somehow, I could still remember my lines, and when I was under the lights, I didn't feel so feverish. Maybe it's the warm glow of the spotlight, or adrenaline, but I knew that God was sustaining me through the rehearsal. How am I so sure? Cos I slumped kinda unconscious the moment I got into Kim's car on the way home. :)
Friday, First day:
Woke up feeling weak. 36.9 deg. Thank God the fever's gone. Went to ACS, miked up, dolled up again (yucks!) :P and was feeling fine till about 6.30pm after dinner. Waiting for the crowd to arrive, I felt the feverishness coming back. Alot of people asked me how I was, and my response changed from "Thank God I'm ok" to "Fever's back, but I'm still ok". David prayed for me backstage and everything went fine as the scenes went on.
Mom and Dad and Ceh came to watch. Disappointed that they didn't get saved. Haiz.... if I ever leave for IBC, it's the only regret that I would have, that they're still lost in sin. :```(
Saturday, 2nd day:
Woke up groggy as usual. Got better after I had coffee. That proves my theory that coffee can cure all diseases! :P
Spent the morning bugging Adrian and Terry (from AO) to come, but they kept throwing up excuses and gave a half-yes half-no answer. Haiz. In the end after cantata, I couldn't find them at ACS. Can't blame them, I should have spent more time having supper with them in the past year.
Anyway, I thank God for:
1) Helping Daphne overcome stage fright
2) Healing me from a 37.7 deg fever, and keeping me (and my voice) strong enough to act and sing
3) Saving 7 souls during the 2 nights
God is good, and He will see us through. We just need to pray, trust and obey. :)
When I woke up for work in the morning, I could feel the flu bug creeping up on me: runny nose, chilly hands, whole body very nua. The air con in office didn't help things, so I set it to fan mode, but it still wasn't comfortable. Sigh. Too many emails to send and I left about 2pm, sigh....By the time I reached home, I was like super exhausted.
Measured my temperature, 37.0 deg. Started packing to leave at 3.20pm, and kinda slumped on the sofa. No strength to move. Went to lie down in bed. Took my temperature, and it shot up to 37.7 deg. Daphne went to ACS herself first. Closed my eyes and almost didn't wake up when Daphne called home to tell me to get to ACS for 2nd rehearsal after dinner.
Somehow, I could still remember my lines, and when I was under the lights, I didn't feel so feverish. Maybe it's the warm glow of the spotlight, or adrenaline, but I knew that God was sustaining me through the rehearsal. How am I so sure? Cos I slumped kinda unconscious the moment I got into Kim's car on the way home. :)
Friday, First day:
Woke up feeling weak. 36.9 deg. Thank God the fever's gone. Went to ACS, miked up, dolled up again (yucks!) :P and was feeling fine till about 6.30pm after dinner. Waiting for the crowd to arrive, I felt the feverishness coming back. Alot of people asked me how I was, and my response changed from "Thank God I'm ok" to "Fever's back, but I'm still ok". David prayed for me backstage and everything went fine as the scenes went on.
Mom and Dad and Ceh came to watch. Disappointed that they didn't get saved. Haiz.... if I ever leave for IBC, it's the only regret that I would have, that they're still lost in sin. :```(
Saturday, 2nd day:
Woke up groggy as usual. Got better after I had coffee. That proves my theory that coffee can cure all diseases! :P
Spent the morning bugging Adrian and Terry (from AO) to come, but they kept throwing up excuses and gave a half-yes half-no answer. Haiz. In the end after cantata, I couldn't find them at ACS. Can't blame them, I should have spent more time having supper with them in the past year.
Anyway, I thank God for:
1) Helping Daphne overcome stage fright
2) Healing me from a 37.7 deg fever, and keeping me (and my voice) strong enough to act and sing
3) Saving 7 souls during the 2 nights
God is good, and He will see us through. We just need to pray, trust and obey. :)
Friday, December 14, 2007
Pics of the day!
Presenting.......... our little furry bedside companions!
Love-a-Lot bear having McDonald's hotcakes for breakfast.
Shimi, Lord of the Jungle!
Aren't they cute? :)
Love-a-Lot bear having McDonald's hotcakes for breakfast.
Shimi, Lord of the Jungle!
Aren't they cute? :)
Saturday, November 24, 2007
RING ring RinG
The night is quiet. I like it quiet whereby i can organise my thoughts without much disturbance , look thru old pics, read a book or write my journal in my comfy bed!It' time for snooze. But,I'm juz in the mood to post up some pics. So here's some belated wedding pics of our old old fren, William.
History of William:
-Terence's hall roomate in NTU hall 10
-ICQ pal of Daphne's NTU hall 10 roomate, Winnie
-Spent singlehood days with Terence in lonely hall 10
- IT Geek!
- While T & i were bz dating, he was always bz stardeeing!
-our MatChMaker who challenges me to have a Baptist ( vs Charismatic) bf!
-Guy who redefined "perfection" in Corinthians for me.
-Guy who disappears without fail for dinner at hall 11 to create opportunities for his bro Terence to have private moments with me!
COngrats Will & Jeannie! We've been waiting so long for this day! To a blessed marriage! i love their flowers! wheeeeeee.........:)
A & B
Pic 1: Ter & I with one-mth old Amadeus. He was reallie so tinie weenie when we carried him! was so afraid that T will juz drop him.
Pic 2: Sunset Picnic@ Ballet under the stars with baby Benaiah.
Pic 3: Baby Benaiah day in church with all the Aunties
Pic 4: Cool Amadeus
Been tinking of these 2 little ones ( Amadeus & Benaiah) dear to my heart. Been missing them as we haven't been seeing them around in church as often as b4. No matter what happens in life, i pray that God will protect these 2 little ones and they will grow up well-grounded in God's word and be of " boys" after God's own heart, to love God with all their heart, soul and mind.
week of goodbyes!
.jpg)
Last Fri-Sent JC best fren Ailin off at T1. She'll b in UK working with hubby. Guess when we meet again, it will be 3 yrs later. When she bide me goodbye at departure, i told her," You better go fast b4 i cry". It was so tough holding back my tears. Hubby grinned n commented that i am a crybaby..... haha.!!!. Goodbye is so tough....i hate goodbyes....:P Wishing her all the best in her career and family! I'm sure when we meet again, there will be much rejoicing! Goodbye to my dearest fren!
Last Sat-Met up with Campus Crusade EA (EAst ASia) Team as our team staff leader XXX n his wife XXX ( names kept confidential to protect the EA ministry) were back In S'pore to deliver their 3rd kid before going back to the mission field. About 5 yrs back when we were in the mission field with this couple with no kids yet. Those days were so memorable. To eat,sleep,play,sow,plant,harvest, minister, memorise verses in Mandarin and pray together as a team for God's work.It was so tiring, dangerous yet so refreshing. Indeed God has been good to them and they have been very faithful to the Lord's work.To be in the mission field with 3 kids, it's certainly not easy.
In Singapore, people struggle with 1 kid. But for them, they had honored the Lord by serving faithfully on the field even with 2 young kids and the newly born. Certainly put many of us to shame who claims that one kid gives us just too much trouble to serve in our homeland. Thru them, i see their confidence in God who protects their kids in a foreign land and gives them the extra grace in bringing up these kids. Bide them goodbye as i wonder when we will see them again after they return to EA for The Lord's work. Been a joy to see them and the newly born! Their kids are juz so adorable! Good time of fellowship with the EA Team too! Been truly blessed!
Monday, November 5, 2007
In His Eyes
They have everything in life.Rich, prettty, successful businesswomen who displayed such efficiency, drive, passion, talent, pride in their work. Yet, when i spoke to them over a simple meal, beneath the bullet proof businesswoman, i saw their vulnerability towards life, marriage, family. It seems that they have no faith nor foundation in life. INDEED, i wonder what is life without God's word as the firm foundation and direction?
I realised then that all along, I've been blinded by what i've seen, by the "so perfect image" people had created for themselves. Does the millionaire need the Lord any less than the pauper? Does the CEO need the Lord any less than the cleaner? Does the smart need the Lord any less than the less smart? As I walked past Raffles Place, that day, beneath the smart jackets and chic dresses worn by the sucessful working class, for some time,i just watched and looked beyond the surface and see vulnerable hearts seeking for love and direction in life.
Have you been blinded by the success of people, just like me? Indeed, may God give us wisdom and discernment to see issues, things and people in HIS EYES and not thru our own deceptive eyes.
Daphne
I realised then that all along, I've been blinded by what i've seen, by the "so perfect image" people had created for themselves. Does the millionaire need the Lord any less than the pauper? Does the CEO need the Lord any less than the cleaner? Does the smart need the Lord any less than the less smart? As I walked past Raffles Place, that day, beneath the smart jackets and chic dresses worn by the sucessful working class, for some time,i just watched and looked beyond the surface and see vulnerable hearts seeking for love and direction in life.
Have you been blinded by the success of people, just like me? Indeed, may God give us wisdom and discernment to see issues, things and people in HIS EYES and not thru our own deceptive eyes.
Daphne
Wednesday, October 24, 2007
reflections
Yes. I've tendered my resignation letter last week. Someone offered me a job before i tendered and i rejected the offer.
Crazy. Yes. Most people tink i'm crazy. I tink i am too!:p
But when Moses brought the people of Israel to the waters, did the people too tink that he's crazy? When young David fought Goliath with 3 small stones, was he crazy too? Somehow, ya, by logical sense,it's really crazy.
To raise your rod, stretch out your hand over the sea and divide it. <>
Yet, it happened in God's word:
"Then Moses stretched out his hand over the sea; and the Lord caused the sea to go back by a strong east wind all that night, and made the sea into dry land, and the waters were divided. So the children of Israel went into the midst of the sea on the dry ground, and the waters were a wall to them on their right hand and to their left.." Exodus 14: 21-22
"And Moses stretched out his hand over the sea; and when the morning appeared, the sea returned to its full depth, when the Egyptians were fleeing into it.So the Lord overthrew th Egyptians in the midst of the sea. Then the waters returned and covered the chariots, the horsemen, and all the army of Pharaoh that came into the sea after them. Not as much as one of them remained." Exodus 14: 27-28
For the past 1 month, when i walk from my block, thru the green fields, to the bus stop, i thought to myself : is this what i wanna do for the rest of my life? To spend my whole life slogging for profits and material needs with a crisp of hyprocrisy and materialism in the corporate world. Is this what i wanna pursue -ambition and career at the expense of my family,my husband, frens, and in future my kids. It seems too true to know that one can never serve 2 masters: money or God. Where your heart is, there your treasure is. i asked myself, asked God where my heart is.
i've been tinking for too long to let go of everything and focus on what i should do. Too many worldy things that i can't bear to let go- the materialism of life, the ambitions. I realise that these things crippled my walk with God. It's time to let go. God seems to wake me up suddenly from a dream in my own world. Somehow, in our lives, sometimes, we got cluttered with many things that crippled our walk with God and God just came one day and decide it;s time for spring cleaning. haha....:P It's going to be messy, dirty, PaInful....Yet, when it;s clean,it's going to be a clean vessel for the work of God.
Somehow, it seems God just convicted me: Just do it! Seems very Nike right? <> So one morning, i woke up, asked T to type the letter and submitted it that same day.
In pursuit of material needs and career, i have sacrified time for hubby, sacrficed the domestic support i should give to hubby, sacrificed time to minister and most importantly, sacrified time for God.I've never sacrfice anything in my entire life. Coz i always believe in fighting for ur own rights. And this time round, the Lord taught me self-sacrifice.
Yes. This time round, i've chosen to quit my job! <> To me,it's the first step to bide goodbye to materialism of the corporate world and the hectic schedule. I'm not taking any job in the next one month. Next month will be for God. I've spent enough time working for my boss, It;s time to give this one month for God.
I need to slow down my pace, take time to dwell in God's presence, spend more time ministering to small group people and cook for hubby. He's been falling sick and i really hope to cook some healthy home cooked food for him. SInce i've been so engrossed in my work, i haven't been cooking for him. And he has never complained about his wife not cooking or cleaning up the house as often as she should.He deserves much more healthy food than i can give him now.
Sometimes i wonder. We spend so much time on our corporate work, yet how much time do we spend on God' work and ministering to His people. WHo is our master? Our corporate boss or God? It's sad to see people motivated and bz for career, yet laid back for God's work. May the Lord open the eyes of His people to see His lost sheep without a shepherdand be burdened for His work.
Wish me all the best! Pray for me as i spend the next one month resting in God. Pray for Terence and i as the Lord continues to lead and prepare us for some major changes in our lives. May His will be done in our lives for His glory.
Crazy. Yes. Most people tink i'm crazy. I tink i am too!:p
But when Moses brought the people of Israel to the waters, did the people too tink that he's crazy? When young David fought Goliath with 3 small stones, was he crazy too? Somehow, ya, by logical sense,it's really crazy.
To raise your rod, stretch out your hand over the sea and divide it. <>
Yet, it happened in God's word:
"Then Moses stretched out his hand over the sea; and the Lord caused the sea to go back by a strong east wind all that night, and made the sea into dry land, and the waters were divided. So the children of Israel went into the midst of the sea on the dry ground, and the waters were a wall to them on their right hand and to their left.." Exodus 14: 21-22
"And Moses stretched out his hand over the sea; and when the morning appeared, the sea returned to its full depth, when the Egyptians were fleeing into it.So the Lord overthrew th Egyptians in the midst of the sea. Then the waters returned and covered the chariots, the horsemen, and all the army of Pharaoh that came into the sea after them. Not as much as one of them remained." Exodus 14: 27-28
For the past 1 month, when i walk from my block, thru the green fields, to the bus stop, i thought to myself : is this what i wanna do for the rest of my life? To spend my whole life slogging for profits and material needs with a crisp of hyprocrisy and materialism in the corporate world. Is this what i wanna pursue -ambition and career at the expense of my family,my husband, frens, and in future my kids. It seems too true to know that one can never serve 2 masters: money or God. Where your heart is, there your treasure is. i asked myself, asked God where my heart is.
i've been tinking for too long to let go of everything and focus on what i should do. Too many worldy things that i can't bear to let go- the materialism of life, the ambitions. I realise that these things crippled my walk with God. It's time to let go. God seems to wake me up suddenly from a dream in my own world. Somehow, in our lives, sometimes, we got cluttered with many things that crippled our walk with God and God just came one day and decide it;s time for spring cleaning. haha....:P It's going to be messy, dirty, PaInful....Yet, when it;s clean,it's going to be a clean vessel for the work of God.
Somehow, it seems God just convicted me: Just do it! Seems very Nike right? <> So one morning, i woke up, asked T to type the letter and submitted it that same day.
In pursuit of material needs and career, i have sacrified time for hubby, sacrficed the domestic support i should give to hubby, sacrificed time to minister and most importantly, sacrified time for God.I've never sacrfice anything in my entire life. Coz i always believe in fighting for ur own rights. And this time round, the Lord taught me self-sacrifice.
Yes. This time round, i've chosen to quit my job! <> To me,it's the first step to bide goodbye to materialism of the corporate world and the hectic schedule. I'm not taking any job in the next one month. Next month will be for God. I've spent enough time working for my boss, It;s time to give this one month for God.
I need to slow down my pace, take time to dwell in God's presence, spend more time ministering to small group people and cook for hubby. He's been falling sick and i really hope to cook some healthy home cooked food for him. SInce i've been so engrossed in my work, i haven't been cooking for him. And he has never complained about his wife not cooking or cleaning up the house as often as she should.He deserves much more healthy food than i can give him now.
Sometimes i wonder. We spend so much time on our corporate work, yet how much time do we spend on God' work and ministering to His people. WHo is our master? Our corporate boss or God? It's sad to see people motivated and bz for career, yet laid back for God's work. May the Lord open the eyes of His people to see His lost sheep without a shepherdand be burdened for His work.
Wish me all the best! Pray for me as i spend the next one month resting in God. Pray for Terence and i as the Lord continues to lead and prepare us for some major changes in our lives. May His will be done in our lives for His glory.
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
My darlin's birthday
Today is a very important day. It's Daphne's birthday!!! (I won't say her age, you gotta ask her yourself haha)
Ok let me warm up my supa suave soprano voice with a happy burpday tune.... NOT!!!! :P
Anyway, being the bargain-hunter that I am, I scoured the ENTIRE internet for good food with nice ambience and a reasonable price. And lo and behold, after 3 clicks, I found my trusty UOB Dining Rewards referring to a nice Thai buffet.
It just happened that my Dad's car was available, so I zipped down to grab the flowers
Nice eh? =)
Then I picked Daphne up from her office. She was ravishing, as usual. Heh, God's so good to me. Hehe. Here's us at the restaurant, Beads Restaurant and Lounge at Grand Mercure Roxy Hotel.
Looks yummy eh? I think I ate too much hehe.
Well, on reflection, it's been a wonderful 7th birthday I've celebrated with Daphne. It's always so wonderful to see someone you love adoring the flowers you give her. (Though we guys can NEVER understand why these plants are so 'powerful') ^o^
As each birthday passes, as we grow together with God's leading, we know that He has a wonderful plan ahead for our lives.
Little steps, tiny steps
For man, taken like a doe
Moving forward in the plan
From the God who loves us so
Seeing not the path ahead
beyond our myopic sight
But trusting in the vision
of the Master only wise
Lights the road
Clears the way
Seeks our good
If only we'd obey
So we go forth in faith
Lean on His breast
Knowing that He goes before us
On His perfect will, we rest
Ok let me warm up my supa suave soprano voice with a happy burpday tune.... NOT!!!! :P
Anyway, being the bargain-hunter that I am, I scoured the ENTIRE internet for good food with nice ambience and a reasonable price. And lo and behold, after 3 clicks, I found my trusty UOB Dining Rewards referring to a nice Thai buffet.
It just happened that my Dad's car was available, so I zipped down to grab the flowers
Nice eh? =)
Then I picked Daphne up from her office. She was ravishing, as usual. Heh, God's so good to me. Hehe. Here's us at the restaurant, Beads Restaurant and Lounge at Grand Mercure Roxy Hotel.
Looks yummy eh? I think I ate too much hehe.
Well, on reflection, it's been a wonderful 7th birthday I've celebrated with Daphne. It's always so wonderful to see someone you love adoring the flowers you give her. (Though we guys can NEVER understand why these plants are so 'powerful') ^o^
As each birthday passes, as we grow together with God's leading, we know that He has a wonderful plan ahead for our lives.
Little steps, tiny steps
For man, taken like a doe
Moving forward in the plan
From the God who loves us so
Seeing not the path ahead
beyond our myopic sight
But trusting in the vision
of the Master only wise
Lights the road
Clears the way
Seeks our good
If only we'd obey
So we go forth in faith
Lean on His breast
Knowing that He goes before us
On His perfect will, we rest
Free food! (Overdue but nice)
Ever forgot to eat your lunch before? Been there, done that.
Ever ate leftover food before? 2 days old maybe, but how about 2 weeks late? =)
Well, when we were digging up old vouchers for shopping 'exercise', we found a "Free Dinner for 2 @ Silver Shell Cafe @ Rasa Sentosa Shangri-la" voucher. And it had already expired for a week! Anyway, my brilliant wife swiftly executed a "we'll come this weekend so it's expired but never mind right?" manouvre and got us our customer rights. (After multiple personnel referrals, and finally someone gave us a reservation. But never give name, so un-pro!)
I also swiftly procured us the use of dad-in-law's car for the night. Normally, they would be driving off to their cell group on Friday nights, but thank God they had cell-group at their house, so we could use the car that night. Off we went, to the land of free-makan!
Here's what the food looks like. Not bad stuff since it would have cost us $95 if not for my darlin's super marketing-trained haggling-for-overdue-freebies skillz =)
Ever ate leftover food before? 2 days old maybe, but how about 2 weeks late? =)
Well, when we were digging up old vouchers for shopping 'exercise', we found a "Free Dinner for 2 @ Silver Shell Cafe @ Rasa Sentosa Shangri-la" voucher. And it had already expired for a week! Anyway, my brilliant wife swiftly executed a "we'll come this weekend so it's expired but never mind right?" manouvre and got us our customer rights. (After multiple personnel referrals, and finally someone gave us a reservation. But never give name, so un-pro!)
I also swiftly procured us the use of dad-in-law's car for the night. Normally, they would be driving off to their cell group on Friday nights, but thank God they had cell-group at their house, so we could use the car that night. Off we went, to the land of free-makan!
Here's what the food looks like. Not bad stuff since it would have cost us $95 if not for my darlin's super marketing-trained haggling-for-overdue-freebies skillz =)
Sunday, October 21, 2007
At The MaRkEt!
Yes!Let's going MARKETING today! YiPeE!
" Everything is marketing and marketing is everything!"-that's something i remember from one of the NTU marketing lecturers.
A good product will never be known to be good if it is not MARKETED! U have a good engineer to design the product, but What's the point? Ultimately, u need a GOOD marketer to market it out! You need not ONLY be good, you must be good in MARKETING Yourself out. When you have learnt to smoke without being known to smoke, you have succeeded in marketing. That's the power of marketing!! hahaha......
So, Here's the NTu Biz Galz who "smoked" thru marketing school with me!
Pics at my chijmes wedding, christmas party @ Tania's place and Tania's ROM @ merchant court!
Saturday, October 20, 2007
My FiRst CaKe!
Introducing my buddies/ comrades from NTU Biz marketing, there's:
Tania: the smart one. all time well-groomed, well dressed vainpot, most sacrificial and tolerant of us all ! Ex-stewardess. Currently the best wife one can ever find who can give up everything for her hubby!
Weini: my roomie in hall who updates us on who comes with full makeup to the 8.30 morning lecture with that long skirt you wear to the beach and whois dating who in hall and who broke up ! Currently the straightforward stubborn wife who is a clean freak!
Lilian: IT geek! The logical, diligent, diplomatic one whom u will never see in skirts and dresses. Most decent of us all! Gives decent advice.
Sydney: Sarcastic teacher with the big heart for the kids in school. Most perservering of us all! Emotionally strong!
Marianne: The Political one.Most ambitious of us all to climb up the corporate leader. The friend who cleans up your mess during breakup or anything and gives good advice. She's the strategist!
and me Daphne: I'm the "rebellious" stubborn " can't make-up my mind" gal yet knows deep down in her heart what she really wants, just refusing to admit it.
Th gals bought a Swensons COokies and Cream cake-my first cake of the yr, and celebrated an early birthday for me. WHen they sung the song, myheart just melted...:P It's jusz thosekind of fuzzy feeling and u feel as if you are on top of the mountain. So touched.
I love the simple,cosy setting away from the orchard crowd where we juz laz around at Weini'splace and chat till past midnite. There's not many frens i call buddies and they are really the buddies i can say who knows me and loves me! And we can shoot each other down sarcastically and no one takes it to heart. Though we are so diff, generally, we are all quite crazy, sarcastic and frank.And we are just ourselves with each other. It's certainly a birthday i'll remember! i love simple gatherings!
Thanks for everything gals. Love you lots!
Hugs, daphne.....
Ter sleeping like a log now....gotta join him! :P
Tania: the smart one. all time well-groomed, well dressed vainpot, most sacrificial and tolerant of us all ! Ex-stewardess. Currently the best wife one can ever find who can give up everything for her hubby!
Weini: my roomie in hall who updates us on who comes with full makeup to the 8.30 morning lecture with that long skirt you wear to the beach and whois dating who in hall and who broke up ! Currently the straightforward stubborn wife who is a clean freak!
Lilian: IT geek! The logical, diligent, diplomatic one whom u will never see in skirts and dresses. Most decent of us all! Gives decent advice.
Sydney: Sarcastic teacher with the big heart for the kids in school. Most perservering of us all! Emotionally strong!
Marianne: The Political one.Most ambitious of us all to climb up the corporate leader. The friend who cleans up your mess during breakup or anything and gives good advice. She's the strategist!
and me Daphne: I'm the "rebellious" stubborn " can't make-up my mind" gal yet knows deep down in her heart what she really wants, just refusing to admit it.
Th gals bought a Swensons COokies and Cream cake-my first cake of the yr, and celebrated an early birthday for me. WHen they sung the song, myheart just melted...:P It's jusz thosekind of fuzzy feeling and u feel as if you are on top of the mountain. So touched.
I love the simple,cosy setting away from the orchard crowd where we juz laz around at Weini'splace and chat till past midnite. There's not many frens i call buddies and they are really the buddies i can say who knows me and loves me! And we can shoot each other down sarcastically and no one takes it to heart. Though we are so diff, generally, we are all quite crazy, sarcastic and frank.And we are just ourselves with each other. It's certainly a birthday i'll remember! i love simple gatherings!
Thanks for everything gals. Love you lots!
Hugs, daphne.....
Ter sleeping like a log now....gotta join him! :P
Thursday, October 18, 2007
date without candles!
My parents planning a family trip to Bangkok- My parents, sis & hubby, Ter & me. ANd i'm reallie looking forward to it! HAd dinner date with my younger sis just now and it kinda brings back sweet memories.
It's been a long time since i last have a chance to spend quality time with my family and sometimes, i do miss the warmth of the traditional Tan family and all the house rules which i used to rebel against:
- No hamsters in the living room. Animals are only allowed in the kitchen.
- Report to dad as long as you don't come home after school.
-No overnight stays at Bf's home or overnight holidays as long as we are not married
-No bermudas to church. No slippers to church. ( i got scolded once when i was young when i wore bermudas for a SAT informal Youth service)
-No spaghetti tops in and out of the house ( my mum is quite strict on this though she's a charismatic at heart) ( my sis used to sneak out with spaghetti top ONLY when mum away. Think i dunno- she always has SPARE sweater in her bag. And once she's within 200m from home, she's in her sweater again even when it's freaking hot) hahaha.so funny.
-No horror movies to be watched
-No horror books in the house. ( i hide my books)
-No wearing of clothes and accessories associated with snakes or dragons.( I used to have a cute dragon t-hirt during my sec days n my dad refuse to let me wear it)
-No TV when we're having dinner
i come from a close-kinted family who talks about everything under the sun. We talk about pastors and their preaching styles, the modesty of dancers in church,which musician my sis is dating, the song leaders in church, which drummer is too rock and of course Spirit filled charismatics and word filled BAptists. haha....:p That's a SENSITIVE issue and i've learnt my lesson not to pursue this matter too much with Mum. There are just certain issues that are to be made firm our stand but not quarrel over the dinner table. Mum is always telling Ter &me that too much word chokes up your brain and makes you a Pharisee. well,well,well.........i shall give no comments.:P
Dad used to drive the whole familyto church and though i've married ,i do miss dad driving us to church and going out lunch with them after church. Miss the malaysia retreats out with dad's cell group and the church so familiar to me. Memories are always sweet. It's been so many years since i left Renewal.(RCC) While we were dating, Ter visits Renewal on Sat and i visit BFC on Sun. It reaches a point whereby we can no longer be in 2 diff church. SOmehow, during a prayer meeting at Renewal, God affirmed me that BFC is where He wants Ter & me to be. I wept that night. I love friends, family at Renewal, but it;s not where God wants me to be. To obey God and take up the cross, to submit and GO.....to leave familiar friends and family. The Lord taught me the lesson of leaving that day. i cried and struggled the first 6 mths in BFC. It was a culture shock.It was just painful. But, somehow,it strengthened the love between Ter & I as we learn to go thru this trial and emotional rollar coaster together as a couple.
Memories are to be cherished deeply. But i guess, for the work of God, how many have left their beloved family and friends for the greater calling of their lives? Leaving will never be easy. But to leave to obey God's calling, that is indeed an honor. To live and to die for God, what more can one ask for?
God seems to be teaching me many lessons of leaving- A wife to leave her parents for a new family unit, a gal to leave her familiar charismatic church and friends for a traditional church with totally foreign alien culture she has never known in her entire life. I remember stories;
- People holding unto certain burden in their lives that restrict them from running this race for God whole-heartedly and effectively.
-People holding on so tight on their lives and refusing God to enter and take control of their loves.
-Parents holding unto their grown-up married kids
-Married kids holding unto their parents
One story touched me though:
God has only one son and He made Him a missionary.
Are you holding unto your kids?
Are we ready to "lose" our kids and give them to the Lord's work in a foreign land?
Well, my struggle continues....how about u? :P
It's been a long time since i last have a chance to spend quality time with my family and sometimes, i do miss the warmth of the traditional Tan family and all the house rules which i used to rebel against:
- No hamsters in the living room. Animals are only allowed in the kitchen.
- Report to dad as long as you don't come home after school.
-No overnight stays at Bf's home or overnight holidays as long as we are not married
-No bermudas to church. No slippers to church. ( i got scolded once when i was young when i wore bermudas for a SAT informal Youth service)
-No spaghetti tops in and out of the house ( my mum is quite strict on this though she's a charismatic at heart) ( my sis used to sneak out with spaghetti top ONLY when mum away. Think i dunno- she always has SPARE sweater in her bag. And once she's within 200m from home, she's in her sweater again even when it's freaking hot) hahaha.so funny.
-No horror movies to be watched
-No horror books in the house. ( i hide my books)
-No wearing of clothes and accessories associated with snakes or dragons.( I used to have a cute dragon t-hirt during my sec days n my dad refuse to let me wear it)
-No TV when we're having dinner
i come from a close-kinted family who talks about everything under the sun. We talk about pastors and their preaching styles, the modesty of dancers in church,which musician my sis is dating, the song leaders in church, which drummer is too rock and of course Spirit filled charismatics and word filled BAptists. haha....:p That's a SENSITIVE issue and i've learnt my lesson not to pursue this matter too much with Mum. There are just certain issues that are to be made firm our stand but not quarrel over the dinner table. Mum is always telling Ter &me that too much word chokes up your brain and makes you a Pharisee. well,well,well.........i shall give no comments.:P
Dad used to drive the whole familyto church and though i've married ,i do miss dad driving us to church and going out lunch with them after church. Miss the malaysia retreats out with dad's cell group and the church so familiar to me. Memories are always sweet. It's been so many years since i left Renewal.(RCC) While we were dating, Ter visits Renewal on Sat and i visit BFC on Sun. It reaches a point whereby we can no longer be in 2 diff church. SOmehow, during a prayer meeting at Renewal, God affirmed me that BFC is where He wants Ter & me to be. I wept that night. I love friends, family at Renewal, but it;s not where God wants me to be. To obey God and take up the cross, to submit and GO.....to leave familiar friends and family. The Lord taught me the lesson of leaving that day. i cried and struggled the first 6 mths in BFC. It was a culture shock.It was just painful. But, somehow,it strengthened the love between Ter & I as we learn to go thru this trial and emotional rollar coaster together as a couple.
Memories are to be cherished deeply. But i guess, for the work of God, how many have left their beloved family and friends for the greater calling of their lives? Leaving will never be easy. But to leave to obey God's calling, that is indeed an honor. To live and to die for God, what more can one ask for?
God seems to be teaching me many lessons of leaving- A wife to leave her parents for a new family unit, a gal to leave her familiar charismatic church and friends for a traditional church with totally foreign alien culture she has never known in her entire life. I remember stories;
- People holding unto certain burden in their lives that restrict them from running this race for God whole-heartedly and effectively.
-People holding on so tight on their lives and refusing God to enter and take control of their loves.
-Parents holding unto their grown-up married kids
-Married kids holding unto their parents
One story touched me though:
God has only one son and He made Him a missionary.
Are you holding unto your kids?
Are we ready to "lose" our kids and give them to the Lord's work in a foreign land?
Well, my struggle continues....how about u? :P
Wednesday, October 17, 2007
My parents/sis went to Dubai!
My parents and sister went to Dubai last week. Really expensive food I hear, S$150-200 per meal per person AT LEAST! *faints* Well, at least they got a pair of complimentary air tickets and free accommodation with Mabel.
Mmm, I promised Daphne a holiday soon. I wonder what we can afford heh.
Anyway, ceh ceh, here are the photos I uploaded for you on flicker :)
Photos 1 to 68
Photos 69-end
Mmm, I promised Daphne a holiday soon. I wonder what we can afford heh.
Anyway, ceh ceh, here are the photos I uploaded for you on flicker :)
Photos 1 to 68
Photos 69-end
Sunday, October 14, 2007
sweetest things
.jpg)
Oh Ya! It's not a bird! Not a plane! Its' "THEM" !!!- The Ngs!! :P The sweetest couple in BFC invited us over to their house for dinner last Mon, to test out Jan's Thai cuisine. Wow....i luv her Tom Yum soup and home made tea! Jan's reallie a good cook and i bet she put many of us Singapore ladies to shame. I wonder how many of us Singapore ladies can truly cook a decent meal. Josh is truly blessed to marry this young lady! Sometimes, after church, life is so hectic with all the rehearsals,ministry stuff n in-laws visits. And, i truly thank God for the sweet fellowship over the fabulous dinner with Josh & Jan. Always wanted to make time to meet up with them , but, never succeeded. SO i'm glad we had the dinner.
To me, they have a humble simple cosy home. No fanciful wallpaper nor designer furniture nor famous artist's works. Nothing fanciful as perceived by the world, yet to me, they have everything ever in this world ---- A home built on firm foundation of God's love and word, a home filled with wonderful meangingful memories of sweet fellowship with bethren, a home filled abundantly with God's love and blessings. This is worth far more than the riches of this world.
What good it is to have gained the whole world yet forfeit one's soul? Reminds me of King Solomon who had everything in the world- wealth and wisdom, yet in Ecclesiastes ( a bk in the bible) , he wrote about his mental journey thru life and explains how everything he tried, tasted or tested was meaningless, meaningless, meaningless.......
At the end of the book, he concluded : " Now all has been heard, here is the conclusion of the matter: Fear God and keep His commandments, for this is the whole duty of man"- Ecc 12: 13
I remember many yrs back, when i started working in the corporate world, The Lord impressed this verse upon my heart:
"I have seen something else under the sun:
The race is not to the swift or to the battle to the strong, nor does the food come to the wise or wealth to the brilliant or favour to the learned; but time and chance happen to them all.
Moreover, no man knows when his hour will come: As fish are caught in a cruel net, or birds are taken in a snare,so men ar trapped by evil times that fall unexpectedly upon them." Ecc 9: 11
" Whoever loves money never has money enough:
Whoever loves wealth is never satisfied with his income. This too is meaningful" Ecc 5: 10
" The sleep of a labourer is sweet, whether he eats little or much, but the abundance of a rich man permits him no sleep." Ecc 5: 12
As many gets caught in the rat race in pusuit of weath and riches, I pray that The Lord will raise up labourers after His own heart and preserve the hearts of His people to stay focused on His work.
-daphne waiting for pizza delivery....
Tuesday, October 9, 2007
Bintan Marriage Retreat
.jpg)
.jpg)
The cameras on the ladies. TIRING! Perhaps, we should jusz have ONE official photographer! :P
The guyz as usual trying to act cool!
The ladies dear to my heart....jpg)
The ladies dear to my heart...
.jpg)
Weifang, Betty & i went for massage on the last day! SHIOk!
While Weifang was soaked in some herbal steambath, Betty & i relaxed i the bubbling jacuzzi. Followed by aromatic coffee or javanese scrub, balinese massage with our chosen essential oils. Ended off with the super sweet-smelling Milk Wrap! Truly pampering!
I really enjoy the days spent together canoeing, candlelight dinners, ferry rides, marriage seminars and OF COURSE.....the test we had to take at the end of the retreat! haha... Was blessed by the older ladies who shared their stories with us, the younger ladies and also the seminar lessons which truly taught us many blibical concepts about marriage.
i thought it's a good idea to have it every yr for good fellowship and bonding between frens and couples.
7th DatiNg AnNiversary
Can't believe it! It's been 7 yrs since i said "Yes" to be his gf! n i'm now his wife!Seems like juz yesterday when we first met in NTU Hall 10. And he's kinda the serious, nerdy guy i never expect to date!:P haha.....but somehow God converges our paths. Truly, God works in ways we never expect.
Though we r no longer That Young n he's already a working adult, in my eyes, i still remember him as that first yr guy whom i walked with from hall 10 to 2 and then back to hall 10, under the moonlight, enjoying NTU night breeze, chatting, sharing our lives with each other.It was reallie sweet. We wasn't earning anything then, but life was simple and happy.
Somehow, thru the yrs, our relationship has moved from the young innocent lovey stage to a more mature relationship. Looking back at these 7 yrs, God has been very good to us, bringing us thru our conflicting characters,diff family culture, different church doctrines etc......Without God, perhaps we wouldn't have gone so far and would have just given up along the way.
Anyway, here' some pics at Himawari Jap Place @ Neil Rd. Buffet spread with free flow sashimi & shabu shabu. Sashimi is fresh <>and i love the super good quality shabu beef and sauce! Other dishes include fried Oyster, tempura, handroll etc....It's a super small authentic cosy jap place, recommended for those who like to stay away from the orchard crowd n just hibernate in a quiet place where the whole world can't find you!
DaPNnezzz
sun & moon
After Church Anniversary rehearsal, we went to:
Sun and Moon Restaurant
Wheelock Place
Belated celebration of Lishan's B'day! Treated the couple to dinner!
But before that.....
While the guys do the tough job to transport the electric piano back to church, we gals were happily shopping at serangoon plaza with the beauty expert, Miss Diana Koh! :P and of course posing at MRT! since we were so free!
haha!
Fun day hanging out with the folks!
Monday, October 8, 2007
Military Efficiency: Singapore style
Got my reservist call up this year, for 2 weeks, starting on Children's day. Anyway I decided to defer it, cos super tired, and if I go away 2 weeks, my work sure pile up like Westin Stamford height. (yar I like to exaggerate)
So come the day, I spent alot of time doing much 'productive' stuff. Let's see:
800am Reached the Polyclinic - 30 mins of waiting
830am Saw the doc
845am Started waiting at the dispensary - 45 mins of waiting
930am Finally got my medicine and drove off to camp
1015am Reached Sungei Gedong camp
1030am Waited for 'more people to arrive' so we could Report Sick together - 30mins of waiting
1100am Reached medical centre
1130am Saw the MO - 30mins of waiting
1140am Started waiting for my deferment to be processed
1230am Had lunch. Still waiting at Manpower office.
200pm Still waiting
400pm Tired of waiting
530pm My medical docket arrives from Medical Centre. I finally leave camp - 6h of waiting
Congrats, Terence, you just spent 8 hours waiting. Why didn't I bring a book to read????
:P
So come the day, I spent alot of time doing much 'productive' stuff. Let's see:
800am Reached the Polyclinic - 30 mins of waiting
830am Saw the doc
845am Started waiting at the dispensary - 45 mins of waiting
930am Finally got my medicine and drove off to camp
1015am Reached Sungei Gedong camp
1030am Waited for 'more people to arrive' so we could Report Sick together - 30mins of waiting
1100am Reached medical centre
1130am Saw the MO - 30mins of waiting
1140am Started waiting for my deferment to be processed
1230am Had lunch. Still waiting at Manpower office.
200pm Still waiting
400pm Tired of waiting
530pm My medical docket arrives from Medical Centre. I finally leave camp - 6h of waiting
Congrats, Terence, you just spent 8 hours waiting. Why didn't I bring a book to read????
:P
Sunday, September 23, 2007
All done! (Somewhat)
Yay! I finished transcribing all my older poems into the blog. Now I can post my weekly/routine/whatever stuff without getting everything too cluttered.
Reading through them all again, I remember again how good God is to me, and how much I owe Him.
I'm suddenly inspired to write more now. Too much to do, so little time... :)
Reading through them all again, I remember again how good God is to me, and how much I owe Him.
I'm suddenly inspired to write more now. Too much to do, so little time... :)
Poem: Dark Edges
For all who have seen
Fury, Anger's edge
None more feared
Than the assimilation of self in it
To all who have felt
The scathing of its touch
None have fled
Without the scars of its wrath
Yet all who have known
The joy of forgiveness' purity
All are at peace
With self, soul and spirit
Yet peace comes by One
To be at peace with Him
The promise of Eternity
The true source of life
Is the love of Christ within
--> Location Unknown, some time late 2001
I can't remember when I wrote this one, but it was triggered by this email from a USA based poetry-centric organisation that was soliciting free-style poems in a 4-4-4-5 structure. I decided to submit one, but didn't know what to write, so this is it: Turn from your dark edges of anger to peace with God.
Fury, Anger's edge
None more feared
Than the assimilation of self in it
To all who have felt
The scathing of its touch
None have fled
Without the scars of its wrath
Yet all who have known
The joy of forgiveness' purity
All are at peace
With self, soul and spirit
Yet peace comes by One
To be at peace with Him
The promise of Eternity
The true source of life
Is the love of Christ within
--> Location Unknown, some time late 2001
I can't remember when I wrote this one, but it was triggered by this email from a USA based poetry-centric organisation that was soliciting free-style poems in a 4-4-4-5 structure. I decided to submit one, but didn't know what to write, so this is it: Turn from your dark edges of anger to peace with God.
Poem: Of Love
Of timeless treasures known to man
None surpass all, but love
The love of God, free for all
On a willing bosom rest
A love defined in sacrifice
of want, need and self
Yet harbours no return
--Itself, its own reward
The love that formed our being
And gave our will to choose
The love taht takes the willing
into His bosom rest
Yet... oft times
Between God's will
and His purpose
Interposes Our WILL
and Our PLEASURE
--His plan, we wayside cast
Now love, twisted beyond form
From pure Agape to pure lust
From purity into profanity
Now fornication, defined as just
We love with false love
To be loved falsely back
Kind deeds to feed selfish needs
Driven by the flesh
As sin so black
A war rages in my soul
For te purity of love's motive
Where is the truth?
How much are lies?
Do I love from the heart?
..Or for selfish gain?
..Intellectual satisfaction?
..Social obligation?
..Christian duty?
..Heavenly rewards?
Forbid that I may be deceived by my heart!
Forbid that my motives are corrupt!
My heart desires to be burned
in Your Spirit's cleansing fire
My soul desires to burn forever
With motives pure and true
Renew my heart, O Lord
Renew my mind
Purify my love as Yours
Teach me to love, as You have loved
--> Location unknown, 10th August 2001
Why do we serve? How do we love? Do we question our own motives for loving serving giving for God's holy purposes? Unless we truly Agape, all we will have is just wood, hay, stubble.
None surpass all, but love
The love of God, free for all
On a willing bosom rest
A love defined in sacrifice
of want, need and self
Yet harbours no return
--Itself, its own reward
The love that formed our being
And gave our will to choose
The love taht takes the willing
into His bosom rest
Yet... oft times
Between God's will
and His purpose
Interposes Our WILL
and Our PLEASURE
--His plan, we wayside cast
Now love, twisted beyond form
From pure Agape to pure lust
From purity into profanity
Now fornication, defined as just
We love with false love
To be loved falsely back
Kind deeds to feed selfish needs
Driven by the flesh
As sin so black
A war rages in my soul
For te purity of love's motive
Where is the truth?
How much are lies?
Do I love from the heart?
..Or for selfish gain?
..Intellectual satisfaction?
..Social obligation?
..Christian duty?
..Heavenly rewards?
Forbid that I may be deceived by my heart!
Forbid that my motives are corrupt!
My heart desires to be burned
in Your Spirit's cleansing fire
My soul desires to burn forever
With motives pure and true
Renew my heart, O Lord
Renew my mind
Purify my love as Yours
Teach me to love, as You have loved
--> Location unknown, 10th August 2001
Why do we serve? How do we love? Do we question our own motives for loving serving giving for God's holy purposes? Unless we truly Agape, all we will have is just wood, hay, stubble.
Poem: The Victor's Profile
Deliver me, O Lord, from my adversaries
I am beseiged from all sides
The armies loom beyond my vision's periphery
Thunderous in voice, dotted as black sand
Fear and Pain, they mock me
They threaten hurt to those I love
Temptaion, he scorns me
He, the image of my inner being
They laugh and rankle
I despise their candour
Yet eyes ever vigilant
Beneath their sneering facade
They are like the hyean pack
Waiting to swarm me
They peer ceaselessly for a crack
To bring the wall down to dust
I am bound in the inner city
Pressed to the last stand
Then I survey my ravaged forces
-- There is only one man
I throw my face despairingly floorwards
And wail my torn heart dry
Then through hopelessness
Struck me this: Only one Man
All I own now, my empire crumbled
Is but what the Lord desires
Not armies, fortresses, nor strategies
That the Lord needs for my victory
--Just knees on the ground
--And my will on the altar
Now I know who he is
Who stands tall despite the siege
Who never falls, except into God's bosom
Who never wavers in victory's promise
This is his profile; the Victor's profile:
-- A broken will and contrite heart
-- Numb legs
-- Bleeding knees
--> Location unknown, 20th August 2001
2 Kings 19: 32 “Therefore thus says the LORD concerning the king of Assyria:
‘He shall not come into this city,
Nor shoot an arrow there,
Nor come before it with shield,
Nor build a siege mound against it.
I am beseiged from all sides
The armies loom beyond my vision's periphery
Thunderous in voice, dotted as black sand
Fear and Pain, they mock me
They threaten hurt to those I love
Temptaion, he scorns me
He, the image of my inner being
They laugh and rankle
I despise their candour
Yet eyes ever vigilant
Beneath their sneering facade
They are like the hyean pack
Waiting to swarm me
They peer ceaselessly for a crack
To bring the wall down to dust
I am bound in the inner city
Pressed to the last stand
Then I survey my ravaged forces
-- There is only one man
I throw my face despairingly floorwards
And wail my torn heart dry
Then through hopelessness
Struck me this: Only one Man
All I own now, my empire crumbled
Is but what the Lord desires
Not armies, fortresses, nor strategies
That the Lord needs for my victory
--Just knees on the ground
--And my will on the altar
Now I know who he is
Who stands tall despite the siege
Who never falls, except into God's bosom
Who never wavers in victory's promise
This is his profile; the Victor's profile:
-- A broken will and contrite heart
-- Numb legs
-- Bleeding knees
--> Location unknown, 20th August 2001
2 Kings 19: 32 “Therefore thus says the LORD concerning the king of Assyria:
‘He shall not come into this city,
Nor shoot an arrow there,
Nor come before it with shield,
Nor build a siege mound against it.
33 By the way that he came,
By the same shall he return;
And he shall not come into this city,’
Says the LORD.
34 ‘For I will defend this city, to save it
For My own sake and for My servant David’s sake.’”
Poem: Hear the Call of His Love
All my life I've walked a sinner
Holding hands with bitter deceit
Wallowed in my willing transgression
Lay in darkness as demons did
Deeper fallen with each step taken
Tighter bound by dark anger's snare
Deeper still, with each call forsaken
Each of of His loving care
To hear the call of His love
To once more know His lovely face
To be redeemed by His mercy
Oh! To live free by His grace!
Still, my darkness would not leave me
I had no strength to push away
I knew now how far I had fallen
Nearly drowned by my guilt and shame
Amidst my struggle
I heard His voice
Piercing through my heart of stone
I realised
how much I needed Him
As I wept aloud my Saviour's name
I heard the call of His love
I once more knew His lovely face
Iam redeemed by His mercy
I now live free by His grace
Come hear the call of His love
Come now to know His lovely face
Come be redeemed by His mercy
Oh! Come live free by His grace!
Oh! Come live free in His grace!
--> Location unknown, some time in March 2001
Holding hands with bitter deceit
Wallowed in my willing transgression
Lay in darkness as demons did
Deeper fallen with each step taken
Tighter bound by dark anger's snare
Deeper still, with each call forsaken
Each of of His loving care
To hear the call of His love
To once more know His lovely face
To be redeemed by His mercy
Oh! To live free by His grace!
Still, my darkness would not leave me
I had no strength to push away
I knew now how far I had fallen
Nearly drowned by my guilt and shame
Amidst my struggle
I heard His voice
Piercing through my heart of stone
I realised
how much I needed Him
As I wept aloud my Saviour's name
I heard the call of His love
I once more knew His lovely face
Iam redeemed by His mercy
I now live free by His grace
Come hear the call of His love
Come now to know His lovely face
Come be redeemed by His mercy
Oh! Come live free by His grace!
Oh! Come live free in His grace!
--> Location unknown, some time in March 2001
Poem: Slumber
O God, have mercy on my wretched soul
For I have been snared by my sins of old
I have tread on Thy heavenly toes
Knowing well Thy wrath, Thou wouldst withhold
Wake me from my stupor, O God
My slumber fetters me
The things I ought to do
Slip through my tarnished grasp
Temptation falls into my lap
to be cuddled in conscious abandon
And each time,
I wail of my weakness
Each sin I fail to deny entrance
Yet I deny that I've only failed to choose obedience
For Thy strength is my respite
Have mercy on me, of an unclean heart and filthy mind
And teach me to use Thy strength, O Spirit
That I would choose the sweetness of submission
over the bitter-sweeness of indulgence
O for the countless times that I have grieved Thee, dear Spirit
My reasonable sacrifice corrupted by my iniquity
..Of the times when My will be done
..Of the times when My strength suffices
..Oft when rage usurps my will
..and bitterness smothers my heart
..Oft when I offer on Thy altar
..the shreds and remnents of my precious time
..Of the times when I cling to passionate lust
..and dream of forbidden, sensual ways
..Of the times when I see the lost, dying, seeking
..Only to turn away and dwell in my surety and silence
..Of the times when I take my worldly pleasures
..and revere them in front of Thy jealous face
..Much too often I refuse to heed Thy clear voice
..but heed these three: Me, My and Myself
O, wrenched is my heart
For the spiritual mule that I am
Slow to heed its Master's directions
yet pouncing on each earthly desire
Oh Lord, may this not be of me!
Wake this snivelling fool from his restless slumber!
Teach me, Lord, to love Thy ways
To number my days
To fear Thee and obey Thee
Only then from the clutches of sin fly free!
Hear me, Oh Lord,
I need Thy waking
I desire Thy breaking, moulding and shaping
Make me
Whatever Thou wishes I be
--> Benches Outside SME GO, NTU, 10:45am, 19th September 2000
For I have been snared by my sins of old
I have tread on Thy heavenly toes
Knowing well Thy wrath, Thou wouldst withhold
Wake me from my stupor, O God
My slumber fetters me
The things I ought to do
Slip through my tarnished grasp
Temptation falls into my lap
to be cuddled in conscious abandon
And each time,
I wail of my weakness
Each sin I fail to deny entrance
Yet I deny that I've only failed to choose obedience
For Thy strength is my respite
Have mercy on me, of an unclean heart and filthy mind
And teach me to use Thy strength, O Spirit
That I would choose the sweetness of submission
over the bitter-sweeness of indulgence
O for the countless times that I have grieved Thee, dear Spirit
My reasonable sacrifice corrupted by my iniquity
..Of the times when My will be done
..Of the times when My strength suffices
..Oft when rage usurps my will
..and bitterness smothers my heart
..Oft when I offer on Thy altar
..the shreds and remnents of my precious time
..Of the times when I cling to passionate lust
..and dream of forbidden, sensual ways
..Of the times when I see the lost, dying, seeking
..Only to turn away and dwell in my surety and silence
..Of the times when I take my worldly pleasures
..and revere them in front of Thy jealous face
..Much too often I refuse to heed Thy clear voice
..but heed these three: Me, My and Myself
O, wrenched is my heart
For the spiritual mule that I am
Slow to heed its Master's directions
yet pouncing on each earthly desire
Oh Lord, may this not be of me!
Wake this snivelling fool from his restless slumber!
Teach me, Lord, to love Thy ways
To number my days
To fear Thee and obey Thee
Only then from the clutches of sin fly free!
Hear me, Oh Lord,
I need Thy waking
I desire Thy breaking, moulding and shaping
Make me
Whatever Thou wishes I be
--> Benches Outside SME GO, NTU, 10:45am, 19th September 2000
Poem: The Crevice Edge
The heart-shattering scream of searing torment
Limp corpses thrown off the crevice edge
Some stubborn, some unknowing
Still each having to pay the price of sin
Row upon row of people
Red flames cracking in anticipation
Reflected off each too familiar face
All veiled of eye, too hard of heart
They advance, surely, slowly
Herded on by the Deceiver
Prodded along like helpless slaves
To join him in his final fate
"Stop! Please! Before it is too late!"
"Can't you see what beyond, awaits?"
I screamed till my throat bled
Still no one heard me
From my loft perch
--> Pastor Emmanuel's living room, Pakistan, 11:45pm, 12th June 2000
Reflections of physical death, spritual death, and my lack of evangelism
Triggered by the suicide of Shakeel's cousin, on Shakeel's birthday.
Limp corpses thrown off the crevice edge
Some stubborn, some unknowing
Still each having to pay the price of sin
Row upon row of people
Red flames cracking in anticipation
Reflected off each too familiar face
All veiled of eye, too hard of heart
They advance, surely, slowly
Herded on by the Deceiver
Prodded along like helpless slaves
To join him in his final fate
"Stop! Please! Before it is too late!"
"Can't you see what beyond, awaits?"
I screamed till my throat bled
Still no one heard me
From my loft perch
--> Pastor Emmanuel's living room, Pakistan, 11:45pm, 12th June 2000
Reflections of physical death, spritual death, and my lack of evangelism
Triggered by the suicide of Shakeel's cousin, on Shakeel's birthday.
Poem: zIArat
Ever looming on a hazy horizon
The outlines of God's glorious handiwork
As seen by a stranger's eye
Approaching on a trusty wagon truck
With like-minds in Him
On pungent sandalled soles
And with awesome, wide-eyed grins
Onward, upward tread
To the peak of warfare
Advancing only on our knees
Following 'Boss'
To the high places
Sure of foot
As frogs in mid-air
But sure of God
To answer prayer
--> Pastor Emmanuel's living room, Pakistan, 12:15am, 1st June 2000
My recollection of our journey (via truck and sandals) to the mountain Ziarat in Baluchistan, Pakistan. We took a long trek up to the mountain peak, then Lincoln and I followed David and Peter down (yes, a few hundred metres down) a dried up river train. It was simply breath taking, and yet so scary cos our sandals weren't holding up too well to the slippery terrain. :)
As we prayed on the mountain peak for the nation, we felt God's presence there, and we knew somehow, surveying the land before us, how much He loved the lost there, and how much He wanted His people to reach them for Him.
The outlines of God's glorious handiwork
As seen by a stranger's eye
Approaching on a trusty wagon truck
With like-minds in Him
On pungent sandalled soles
And with awesome, wide-eyed grins
Onward, upward tread
To the peak of warfare
Advancing only on our knees
Following 'Boss'
To the high places
Sure of foot
As frogs in mid-air
But sure of God
To answer prayer
--> Pastor Emmanuel's living room, Pakistan, 12:15am, 1st June 2000
My recollection of our journey (via truck and sandals) to the mountain Ziarat in Baluchistan, Pakistan. We took a long trek up to the mountain peak, then Lincoln and I followed David and Peter down (yes, a few hundred metres down) a dried up river train. It was simply breath taking, and yet so scary cos our sandals weren't holding up too well to the slippery terrain. :)
As we prayed on the mountain peak for the nation, we felt God's presence there, and we knew somehow, surveying the land before us, how much He loved the lost there, and how much He wanted His people to reach them for Him.
Poem: Tell of the Time
Praise be to God!
For He transcends all time
The glory of His handiwork
and of the things yet to come
His deeds told and foretold
through His love and by His living Word
They all beckon our praise to His abode
In our hearts
Praise Him, all you kings and rulers!
Praise Him, all you poor and needy!
For the Lord opposes the proud
And gives grace to the humble
To you whom God has redeemed,
..Tell of the time
..When your life was broken
.. Your heart was hard
..with your tears of stone
..Declare how the Lord gave His love
..which through His Son, was spoken
..Your heart was healed
..And your tears could flow
Praise be to God!
For He comforts the mourning
He breaks our hearts
Thus makes us whole
..Tell of the time
..When you were gripped by oppression
..Tossed by every whisper
..of threats unheard
..Now proclaim his sovereign power
..that upholds us in His hand
..Simply trust His good purpose,
..things of life you needn't fear
Praise be to God!
For surely His mercy and goodness
will keep me always
Be strong and of good courage
for God is for us
..Tell of the time
..When your strength had long expired
..Your bone and sinew heeded not your urging
..And the race seemed beyond your stride
..Then as a weary traveller, sought His refuge
..And the Lord renewed your strength
..To soar unfettered as eagles do
..Oh! How your weakness makes His strength perfect
Praise be to God!
For He will duly reward His faithful
who press toward the goal
To receive the imperishable crown
..Tell of His love
..Let the earth resound with His praise
..That the world may know
..The form of its Creator
..The love in His creation
..Tell it till the day He returns
..Or till our tongues do cease
To God be the glory forever. Amen!
--> Hall 10, 49-3-946, 2:30pm, 23rd Marth 2000
This poem is structured like a psalm, and uses phrases from the bible extensively. Despite the length of it, I feel that it still does God no justice in attempting to describe His awesomeness, and our need to show forth His goodness. He is truly worth of endless praise!
The bone/sinew portion was inspired from the missionary biography of Stan Dale in "Lords of the Earth", written by Don Richardson.
For He transcends all time
The glory of His handiwork
and of the things yet to come
His deeds told and foretold
through His love and by His living Word
They all beckon our praise to His abode
In our hearts
Praise Him, all you kings and rulers!
Praise Him, all you poor and needy!
For the Lord opposes the proud
And gives grace to the humble
To you whom God has redeemed,
..Tell of the time
..When your life was broken
.. Your heart was hard
..with your tears of stone
..Declare how the Lord gave His love
..which through His Son, was spoken
..Your heart was healed
..And your tears could flow
Praise be to God!
For He comforts the mourning
He breaks our hearts
Thus makes us whole
..Tell of the time
..When you were gripped by oppression
..Tossed by every whisper
..of threats unheard
..Now proclaim his sovereign power
..that upholds us in His hand
..Simply trust His good purpose,
..things of life you needn't fear
Praise be to God!
For surely His mercy and goodness
will keep me always
Be strong and of good courage
for God is for us
..Tell of the time
..When your strength had long expired
..Your bone and sinew heeded not your urging
..And the race seemed beyond your stride
..Then as a weary traveller, sought His refuge
..And the Lord renewed your strength
..To soar unfettered as eagles do
..Oh! How your weakness makes His strength perfect
Praise be to God!
For He will duly reward His faithful
who press toward the goal
To receive the imperishable crown
..Tell of His love
..Let the earth resound with His praise
..That the world may know
..The form of its Creator
..The love in His creation
..Tell it till the day He returns
..Or till our tongues do cease
To God be the glory forever. Amen!
--> Hall 10, 49-3-946, 2:30pm, 23rd Marth 2000
This poem is structured like a psalm, and uses phrases from the bible extensively. Despite the length of it, I feel that it still does God no justice in attempting to describe His awesomeness, and our need to show forth His goodness. He is truly worth of endless praise!
The bone/sinew portion was inspired from the missionary biography of Stan Dale in "Lords of the Earth", written by Don Richardson.
Song: Till The Day
Broken shards in the sea of God's plan
Brought together as one by His hands
Each piece He shaped with the utmost care
Moulded into vessels, His
Burden to bear
And though troubles beset us
And our hearts are pierced by sorrow
Still His word is a lamp to our way
He said He'll never leave us
He'll uphold us in His hand
Till the day He comes to claim us once again
Here we are now as His standing stones
To tell of His love, His deeds to make known
To stand firm despite whatever befalls
We'll move any mountain to
Answer His call
When we seek to carry our cross
And consider His gain our loss
So take joy in all our trials
For all things fit in His sovereign plan
And the floods of bitter tears
The Lord will see us through again
--> Location unknown, Feb/Mar 2000
I wrote this song as a reflection on my place, my purpose in joining the mission training/team to Pakistan, during our preparation phase. Oh how sweet it is to know that every work and trial we undergo for God can only draw us closer to Him, till the day we are at His bosom in eternity!
Major revisions in stanzas/music by Lemmy.
Brought together as one by His hands
Each piece He shaped with the utmost care
Moulded into vessels, His
Burden to bear
And though troubles beset us
And our hearts are pierced by sorrow
Still His word is a lamp to our way
He said He'll never leave us
He'll uphold us in His hand
Till the day He comes to claim us once again
Here we are now as His standing stones
To tell of His love, His deeds to make known
To stand firm despite whatever befalls
We'll move any mountain to
Answer His call
When we seek to carry our cross
And consider His gain our loss
So take joy in all our trials
For all things fit in His sovereign plan
And the floods of bitter tears
The Lord will see us through again
--> Location unknown, Feb/Mar 2000
I wrote this song as a reflection on my place, my purpose in joining the mission training/team to Pakistan, during our preparation phase. Oh how sweet it is to know that every work and trial we undergo for God can only draw us closer to Him, till the day we are at His bosom in eternity!
Major revisions in stanzas/music by Lemmy.
Poem : Steps of Man
--> Somewhere in NTU, 5:30pm, 16th September 1999
I was astounded by the similarity between this parallel poem and the comparism of the God centred-man and the self-centred man in Henry Blackaby's "Experiencing God" series.
Song: Happy Teacher's Day
Each we we come to sing God's praise
We are greeted by your gentle face
Your warm, sweet smile sets our hearts aglow
As you teach how God's love to show
Though at times we are quite prone to forget
Or sometimes even make you really sad
You still shower all your care on us
And teach us how to live like Jesus
Each year, one day is never enough
To show how much in you we trust
This song a thanks to our teachers dear
For your guidance, patience and love
HAPPY TEACHERS' DAY!
-- Home, 21st August 1999
I think it was Dawn who asked me to write a song for teachers' day, and I kinda relished the challenge of writing something structured so rigidly (relatively speaking) as a children's song. And yeah, I tried writing the music, but it ended sounding like a sad hymn rather than a happy song. *faints*
Anyway, Dawn composed a really nice tune and the song turned out really nice. :)
We are greeted by your gentle face
Your warm, sweet smile sets our hearts aglow
As you teach how God's love to show
Though at times we are quite prone to forget
Or sometimes even make you really sad
You still shower all your care on us
And teach us how to live like Jesus
Each year, one day is never enough
To show how much in you we trust
This song a thanks to our teachers dear
For your guidance, patience and love
HAPPY TEACHERS' DAY!
-- Home, 21st August 1999
I think it was Dawn who asked me to write a song for teachers' day, and I kinda relished the challenge of writing something structured so rigidly (relatively speaking) as a children's song. And yeah, I tried writing the music, but it ended sounding like a sad hymn rather than a happy song. *faints*
Anyway, Dawn composed a really nice tune and the song turned out really nice. :)
Poem: My Testimony
Reflections of my childhood,
innocent and carefree
I learned of the Lord Jesus
And what He had done for me
He moved my heart
Tenderly called me to His love
So I embraced Him in child-like faith
And from these chains of sin was saved
(Thank You Lord for Your grace!)
Reflections of my youth,
Scattered frealisations dawned on my mallleable mind
An avalanche of Questions
A phletora of merciless, piercing, staggering Doubts
What's the meaning of life?
Do we live to die?
What's my purpose in life?
What shall be my guide?
Is there truly justice?
The rich have power, the poor get poorer!
Why is mankind so cruel?
Politics, corruption, manipulation,
Gree, war destruction.
Thus I shrank into a bubble, of
...Isolation
Wont to voice my troubles, grows
...Frustration
I hated this world
Of clones trudging on to become
The ideal finished product of society
Akin to a psychopathic toy factory
Who's to save me from this incessant maddening?
Was I doomed to laugh to tears for naught?
Where were these answers I so desperately sought?
Yet for years, my sister,
My dear, dear sister prayed for me
And my Lord healed my shattered soul that on blessed night
As years of hurt dissolved in tears
As I long wept on my knees
My Lord restored to me my heart, my soul and my sanity.
-- NTU Hall 10 49-3-946, 1:06pm, 12th July 1999
I carry this poem in my wallet, as a reminder of how God preserved me from insanity. Praise God for His mercy and goodness, which saved a wretch like me. Hallelujah!
innocent and carefree
I learned of the Lord Jesus
And what He had done for me
He moved my heart
Tenderly called me to His love
So I embraced Him in child-like faith
And from these chains of sin was saved
(Thank You Lord for Your grace!)
Reflections of my youth,
Scattered frealisations dawned on my mallleable mind
An avalanche of Questions
A phletora of merciless, piercing, staggering Doubts
What's the meaning of life?
Do we live to die?
What's my purpose in life?
What shall be my guide?
Is there truly justice?
The rich have power, the poor get poorer!
Why is mankind so cruel?
Politics, corruption, manipulation,
Gree, war destruction.
Thus I shrank into a bubble, of
...Isolation
Wont to voice my troubles, grows
...Frustration
I hated this world
Of clones trudging on to become
The ideal finished product of society
Akin to a psychopathic toy factory
Who's to save me from this incessant maddening?
Was I doomed to laugh to tears for naught?
Where were these answers I so desperately sought?
Yet for years, my sister,
My dear, dear sister prayed for me
And my Lord healed my shattered soul that on blessed night
As years of hurt dissolved in tears
As I long wept on my knees
My Lord restored to me my heart, my soul and my sanity.
-- NTU Hall 10 49-3-946, 1:06pm, 12th July 1999
I carry this poem in my wallet, as a reminder of how God preserved me from insanity. Praise God for His mercy and goodness, which saved a wretch like me. Hallelujah!
Thursday, September 13, 2007
Blog Entry: Almost done!
Phew, I'm almost done posting up my poems. Finished all up till 1996. A few more recent ones to post (actually, I'm just storing them online just in case I lose my poetry notebooks), and I can start blogging proper :)
To me, poetry is like a journal, recording my journey into near-insanity, the thoughts of war/anger/discontentment/etc that triggered it, and eventually how God presevered my life and my mind, healing me of my bitterness and saving me from madness forever.
Here then on, my poetry has a purpose, (other than writing love poems for my wife, of course :P ) which is to reflect God's goodness in my life, and to inspire others to draw near to Him. I have no more need for melancholy, self-pity or railing hatred at the evil of man. Man is sinful by nature, but God is sovereign. Amen? :D
Hopefully, I can post more poetry here to encourage people, and that would be a nice hearty motivation for me to start writing again.
Ok, time to grab some food. Byeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
To me, poetry is like a journal, recording my journey into near-insanity, the thoughts of war/anger/discontentment/etc that triggered it, and eventually how God presevered my life and my mind, healing me of my bitterness and saving me from madness forever.
Here then on, my poetry has a purpose, (other than writing love poems for my wife, of course :P ) which is to reflect God's goodness in my life, and to inspire others to draw near to Him. I have no more need for melancholy, self-pity or railing hatred at the evil of man. Man is sinful by nature, but God is sovereign. Amen? :D
Hopefully, I can post more poetry here to encourage people, and that would be a nice hearty motivation for me to start writing again.
Ok, time to grab some food. Byeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
Poem: A Trickle of Memory
Winds howling, beat vainly, his brow
Sludge, mud; all for naught, his stride
Remorse, nor regret, awash his frown
Just transfixed, bereft of life
A man, unburdened,
Seen loves and loved passed
A man, hardened
through the sweetness of dust
A trickle of memory...
Fires raged through carnage
yet unworthy of his pain
As his eyes described to him;
All perished. Slain.
A man, subverted
to vengence, to hate
A man, too numbed
to mourn the dead
Each on he learned of,
Flashed past time
He saw each demise
with that one, inert eye
Then as he knelt by the river
To wash the last's blood
He saw his strange face
In the water's red flood
--> Home, 9:11pm, 15th November 1996
A poem about a killer, who slew everyone who impeded his vengence. After he had his revenge, and his rage subsided, he recognised not his own face.
Sludge, mud; all for naught, his stride
Remorse, nor regret, awash his frown
Just transfixed, bereft of life
A man, unburdened,
Seen loves and loved passed
A man, hardened
through the sweetness of dust
A trickle of memory...
Fires raged through carnage
yet unworthy of his pain
As his eyes described to him;
All perished. Slain.
A man, subverted
to vengence, to hate
A man, too numbed
to mourn the dead
Each on he learned of,
Flashed past time
He saw each demise
with that one, inert eye
Then as he knelt by the river
To wash the last's blood
He saw his strange face
In the water's red flood
--> Home, 9:11pm, 15th November 1996
A poem about a killer, who slew everyone who impeded his vengence. After he had his revenge, and his rage subsided, he recognised not his own face.
Poem: Gem
A rock's sparkle,
Once only nature's manifestation
But once set in man's bias
Alters its destiny,
. .Destination
Beyond its will
Its hide sliced and shed
Impaled by incisive machinations
. . Fascination
Unsolitary in the throes
of replicated agony
Then bound by an infinte loop
of fool's gold
. . He oft spoil what he would hold.
--> Location unknown, some time in August 1996
Such is the pain of a natural diamond, reshaped and mercilessly cut by man into his own perception of beauty. Sadly, such is true of man's manipulation of material and other people in order to fulfill his fascinations.
Once only nature's manifestation
But once set in man's bias
Alters its destiny,
. .Destination
Beyond its will
Its hide sliced and shed
Impaled by incisive machinations
. . Fascination
Unsolitary in the throes
of replicated agony
Then bound by an infinte loop
of fool's gold
. . He oft spoil what he would hold.
--> Location unknown, some time in August 1996
Such is the pain of a natural diamond, reshaped and mercilessly cut by man into his own perception of beauty. Sadly, such is true of man's manipulation of material and other people in order to fulfill his fascinations.
Poem: Herself
The diminshed silouhette
of a fading spark
As if headed 'neath the sun
beyond the reach of many arms
nearly distant
from all but herself
Yet equidistant as herself
from her self
For her self,
had too many arms.
--> Location unknown, 21st May 1996
I had stopped writing for a bit, till I exchanged poems with my classmate, Eddie Khoo. He has a very abstract way of writing, very oblique compared to my own forceful style.
This poem describes the life of a person, who did too much ("had too many arms"), moved too fast and became a stranger to everyone ("beyond the reach of many arms"), and when she had grown old and feeble, realised that she doesn't even recognise herself any more (that equidistant portion)
of a fading spark
As if headed 'neath the sun
beyond the reach of many arms
nearly distant
from all but herself
Yet equidistant as herself
from her self
For her self,
had too many arms.
--> Location unknown, 21st May 1996
I had stopped writing for a bit, till I exchanged poems with my classmate, Eddie Khoo. He has a very abstract way of writing, very oblique compared to my own forceful style.
This poem describes the life of a person, who did too much ("had too many arms"), moved too fast and became a stranger to everyone ("beyond the reach of many arms"), and when she had grown old and feeble, realised that she doesn't even recognise herself any more (that equidistant portion)
Poem: Take Flight
Expounded by the wind
Into the shimmering sun's flare
Yet undaunted by the obstacles
Unseen, unsought, unaware
Spearheaded beyond our realm
Through the tarnished, cracking seams
They believe in what they see
Their trust within their dreams
So come embrace this liberty
With such unfettered abandon
Take flight, my friends, take flight!
Discard your woes, my foes, take flight!
So raise your minds and free your eyes
And soar unbound above and free
Savour the sweet aftertaste
Of the flight from reality
Those immaculate figures turn back a glance
As they fade from the naked eye
A subtle gesture of a waved hand
A hand for all to take
So release your soul to rejuvenation
And soar beyond your dreams
Taste the joyous esctacy
of the flight of fantasy
--> Location unknown, 24th January 1996
This poem was inspired by the theme song from the cartoon "Flight of Dragons" by Peter Dickenson, and empowered by my newfound love for escapism. :)
Into the shimmering sun's flare
Yet undaunted by the obstacles
Unseen, unsought, unaware
Spearheaded beyond our realm
Through the tarnished, cracking seams
They believe in what they see
Their trust within their dreams
So come embrace this liberty
With such unfettered abandon
Take flight, my friends, take flight!
Discard your woes, my foes, take flight!
So raise your minds and free your eyes
And soar unbound above and free
Savour the sweet aftertaste
Of the flight from reality
Those immaculate figures turn back a glance
As they fade from the naked eye
A subtle gesture of a waved hand
A hand for all to take
So release your soul to rejuvenation
And soar beyond your dreams
Taste the joyous esctacy
of the flight of fantasy
--> Location unknown, 24th January 1996
This poem was inspired by the theme song from the cartoon "Flight of Dragons" by Peter Dickenson, and empowered by my newfound love for escapism. :)
Poem: Drowned in Sleep
Drowned by the incessant droning of swaying
heard from a wrecked galley hull
Of a distant time and space
That I've seen before somehow
Was it in my sleep? A dream?
Or a hallucination borne of a flustered mind?
Have my senses resorted to trickery?
Oh, these answers, an elusive find
My search brings me deep
into a dank tunnel of queries
As I wade through a sea of drowned voices
Lost, enshrouded in nauseous mystery
--> Location unknown, some time in October 1995
When I started writing this, I pictured myself as an old sailor, exploring the wreck of ship he used to sail. Searching for his lost memory, he started recalling that........
Then something broke my concentration, (probrably end of a lecture or something :P) and I lost the feel for it.
heard from a wrecked galley hull
Of a distant time and space
That I've seen before somehow
Was it in my sleep? A dream?
Or a hallucination borne of a flustered mind?
Have my senses resorted to trickery?
Oh, these answers, an elusive find
My search brings me deep
into a dank tunnel of queries
As I wade through a sea of drowned voices
Lost, enshrouded in nauseous mystery
--> Location unknown, some time in October 1995
When I started writing this, I pictured myself as an old sailor, exploring the wreck of ship he used to sail. Searching for his lost memory, he started recalling that........
Then something broke my concentration, (probrably end of a lecture or something :P) and I lost the feel for it.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
