Yay! I finished transcribing all my older poems into the blog. Now I can post my weekly/routine/whatever stuff without getting everything too cluttered.
Reading through them all again, I remember again how good God is to me, and how much I owe Him.
I'm suddenly inspired to write more now. Too much to do, so little time... :)
Sunday, September 23, 2007
Poem: Dark Edges
For all who have seen
Fury, Anger's edge
None more feared
Than the assimilation of self in it
To all who have felt
The scathing of its touch
None have fled
Without the scars of its wrath
Yet all who have known
The joy of forgiveness' purity
All are at peace
With self, soul and spirit
Yet peace comes by One
To be at peace with Him
The promise of Eternity
The true source of life
Is the love of Christ within
--> Location Unknown, some time late 2001
I can't remember when I wrote this one, but it was triggered by this email from a USA based poetry-centric organisation that was soliciting free-style poems in a 4-4-4-5 structure. I decided to submit one, but didn't know what to write, so this is it: Turn from your dark edges of anger to peace with God.
Fury, Anger's edge
None more feared
Than the assimilation of self in it
To all who have felt
The scathing of its touch
None have fled
Without the scars of its wrath
Yet all who have known
The joy of forgiveness' purity
All are at peace
With self, soul and spirit
Yet peace comes by One
To be at peace with Him
The promise of Eternity
The true source of life
Is the love of Christ within
--> Location Unknown, some time late 2001
I can't remember when I wrote this one, but it was triggered by this email from a USA based poetry-centric organisation that was soliciting free-style poems in a 4-4-4-5 structure. I decided to submit one, but didn't know what to write, so this is it: Turn from your dark edges of anger to peace with God.
Poem: Of Love
Of timeless treasures known to man
None surpass all, but love
The love of God, free for all
On a willing bosom rest
A love defined in sacrifice
of want, need and self
Yet harbours no return
--Itself, its own reward
The love that formed our being
And gave our will to choose
The love taht takes the willing
into His bosom rest
Yet... oft times
Between God's will
and His purpose
Interposes Our WILL
and Our PLEASURE
--His plan, we wayside cast
Now love, twisted beyond form
From pure Agape to pure lust
From purity into profanity
Now fornication, defined as just
We love with false love
To be loved falsely back
Kind deeds to feed selfish needs
Driven by the flesh
As sin so black
A war rages in my soul
For te purity of love's motive
Where is the truth?
How much are lies?
Do I love from the heart?
..Or for selfish gain?
..Intellectual satisfaction?
..Social obligation?
..Christian duty?
..Heavenly rewards?
Forbid that I may be deceived by my heart!
Forbid that my motives are corrupt!
My heart desires to be burned
in Your Spirit's cleansing fire
My soul desires to burn forever
With motives pure and true
Renew my heart, O Lord
Renew my mind
Purify my love as Yours
Teach me to love, as You have loved
--> Location unknown, 10th August 2001
Why do we serve? How do we love? Do we question our own motives for loving serving giving for God's holy purposes? Unless we truly Agape, all we will have is just wood, hay, stubble.
None surpass all, but love
The love of God, free for all
On a willing bosom rest
A love defined in sacrifice
of want, need and self
Yet harbours no return
--Itself, its own reward
The love that formed our being
And gave our will to choose
The love taht takes the willing
into His bosom rest
Yet... oft times
Between God's will
and His purpose
Interposes Our WILL
and Our PLEASURE
--His plan, we wayside cast
Now love, twisted beyond form
From pure Agape to pure lust
From purity into profanity
Now fornication, defined as just
We love with false love
To be loved falsely back
Kind deeds to feed selfish needs
Driven by the flesh
As sin so black
A war rages in my soul
For te purity of love's motive
Where is the truth?
How much are lies?
Do I love from the heart?
..Or for selfish gain?
..Intellectual satisfaction?
..Social obligation?
..Christian duty?
..Heavenly rewards?
Forbid that I may be deceived by my heart!
Forbid that my motives are corrupt!
My heart desires to be burned
in Your Spirit's cleansing fire
My soul desires to burn forever
With motives pure and true
Renew my heart, O Lord
Renew my mind
Purify my love as Yours
Teach me to love, as You have loved
--> Location unknown, 10th August 2001
Why do we serve? How do we love? Do we question our own motives for loving serving giving for God's holy purposes? Unless we truly Agape, all we will have is just wood, hay, stubble.
Poem: The Victor's Profile
Deliver me, O Lord, from my adversaries
I am beseiged from all sides
The armies loom beyond my vision's periphery
Thunderous in voice, dotted as black sand
Fear and Pain, they mock me
They threaten hurt to those I love
Temptaion, he scorns me
He, the image of my inner being
They laugh and rankle
I despise their candour
Yet eyes ever vigilant
Beneath their sneering facade
They are like the hyean pack
Waiting to swarm me
They peer ceaselessly for a crack
To bring the wall down to dust
I am bound in the inner city
Pressed to the last stand
Then I survey my ravaged forces
-- There is only one man
I throw my face despairingly floorwards
And wail my torn heart dry
Then through hopelessness
Struck me this: Only one Man
All I own now, my empire crumbled
Is but what the Lord desires
Not armies, fortresses, nor strategies
That the Lord needs for my victory
--Just knees on the ground
--And my will on the altar
Now I know who he is
Who stands tall despite the siege
Who never falls, except into God's bosom
Who never wavers in victory's promise
This is his profile; the Victor's profile:
-- A broken will and contrite heart
-- Numb legs
-- Bleeding knees
--> Location unknown, 20th August 2001
2 Kings 19: 32 “Therefore thus says the LORD concerning the king of Assyria:
‘He shall not come into this city,
Nor shoot an arrow there,
Nor come before it with shield,
Nor build a siege mound against it.
I am beseiged from all sides
The armies loom beyond my vision's periphery
Thunderous in voice, dotted as black sand
Fear and Pain, they mock me
They threaten hurt to those I love
Temptaion, he scorns me
He, the image of my inner being
They laugh and rankle
I despise their candour
Yet eyes ever vigilant
Beneath their sneering facade
They are like the hyean pack
Waiting to swarm me
They peer ceaselessly for a crack
To bring the wall down to dust
I am bound in the inner city
Pressed to the last stand
Then I survey my ravaged forces
-- There is only one man
I throw my face despairingly floorwards
And wail my torn heart dry
Then through hopelessness
Struck me this: Only one Man
All I own now, my empire crumbled
Is but what the Lord desires
Not armies, fortresses, nor strategies
That the Lord needs for my victory
--Just knees on the ground
--And my will on the altar
Now I know who he is
Who stands tall despite the siege
Who never falls, except into God's bosom
Who never wavers in victory's promise
This is his profile; the Victor's profile:
-- A broken will and contrite heart
-- Numb legs
-- Bleeding knees
--> Location unknown, 20th August 2001
2 Kings 19: 32 “Therefore thus says the LORD concerning the king of Assyria:
‘He shall not come into this city,
Nor shoot an arrow there,
Nor come before it with shield,
Nor build a siege mound against it.
33 By the way that he came,
By the same shall he return;
And he shall not come into this city,’
Says the LORD.
34 ‘For I will defend this city, to save it
For My own sake and for My servant David’s sake.’”
Poem: Hear the Call of His Love
All my life I've walked a sinner
Holding hands with bitter deceit
Wallowed in my willing transgression
Lay in darkness as demons did
Deeper fallen with each step taken
Tighter bound by dark anger's snare
Deeper still, with each call forsaken
Each of of His loving care
To hear the call of His love
To once more know His lovely face
To be redeemed by His mercy
Oh! To live free by His grace!
Still, my darkness would not leave me
I had no strength to push away
I knew now how far I had fallen
Nearly drowned by my guilt and shame
Amidst my struggle
I heard His voice
Piercing through my heart of stone
I realised
how much I needed Him
As I wept aloud my Saviour's name
I heard the call of His love
I once more knew His lovely face
Iam redeemed by His mercy
I now live free by His grace
Come hear the call of His love
Come now to know His lovely face
Come be redeemed by His mercy
Oh! Come live free by His grace!
Oh! Come live free in His grace!
--> Location unknown, some time in March 2001
Holding hands with bitter deceit
Wallowed in my willing transgression
Lay in darkness as demons did
Deeper fallen with each step taken
Tighter bound by dark anger's snare
Deeper still, with each call forsaken
Each of of His loving care
To hear the call of His love
To once more know His lovely face
To be redeemed by His mercy
Oh! To live free by His grace!
Still, my darkness would not leave me
I had no strength to push away
I knew now how far I had fallen
Nearly drowned by my guilt and shame
Amidst my struggle
I heard His voice
Piercing through my heart of stone
I realised
how much I needed Him
As I wept aloud my Saviour's name
I heard the call of His love
I once more knew His lovely face
Iam redeemed by His mercy
I now live free by His grace
Come hear the call of His love
Come now to know His lovely face
Come be redeemed by His mercy
Oh! Come live free by His grace!
Oh! Come live free in His grace!
--> Location unknown, some time in March 2001
Poem: Slumber
O God, have mercy on my wretched soul
For I have been snared by my sins of old
I have tread on Thy heavenly toes
Knowing well Thy wrath, Thou wouldst withhold
Wake me from my stupor, O God
My slumber fetters me
The things I ought to do
Slip through my tarnished grasp
Temptation falls into my lap
to be cuddled in conscious abandon
And each time,
I wail of my weakness
Each sin I fail to deny entrance
Yet I deny that I've only failed to choose obedience
For Thy strength is my respite
Have mercy on me, of an unclean heart and filthy mind
And teach me to use Thy strength, O Spirit
That I would choose the sweetness of submission
over the bitter-sweeness of indulgence
O for the countless times that I have grieved Thee, dear Spirit
My reasonable sacrifice corrupted by my iniquity
..Of the times when My will be done
..Of the times when My strength suffices
..Oft when rage usurps my will
..and bitterness smothers my heart
..Oft when I offer on Thy altar
..the shreds and remnents of my precious time
..Of the times when I cling to passionate lust
..and dream of forbidden, sensual ways
..Of the times when I see the lost, dying, seeking
..Only to turn away and dwell in my surety and silence
..Of the times when I take my worldly pleasures
..and revere them in front of Thy jealous face
..Much too often I refuse to heed Thy clear voice
..but heed these three: Me, My and Myself
O, wrenched is my heart
For the spiritual mule that I am
Slow to heed its Master's directions
yet pouncing on each earthly desire
Oh Lord, may this not be of me!
Wake this snivelling fool from his restless slumber!
Teach me, Lord, to love Thy ways
To number my days
To fear Thee and obey Thee
Only then from the clutches of sin fly free!
Hear me, Oh Lord,
I need Thy waking
I desire Thy breaking, moulding and shaping
Make me
Whatever Thou wishes I be
--> Benches Outside SME GO, NTU, 10:45am, 19th September 2000
For I have been snared by my sins of old
I have tread on Thy heavenly toes
Knowing well Thy wrath, Thou wouldst withhold
Wake me from my stupor, O God
My slumber fetters me
The things I ought to do
Slip through my tarnished grasp
Temptation falls into my lap
to be cuddled in conscious abandon
And each time,
I wail of my weakness
Each sin I fail to deny entrance
Yet I deny that I've only failed to choose obedience
For Thy strength is my respite
Have mercy on me, of an unclean heart and filthy mind
And teach me to use Thy strength, O Spirit
That I would choose the sweetness of submission
over the bitter-sweeness of indulgence
O for the countless times that I have grieved Thee, dear Spirit
My reasonable sacrifice corrupted by my iniquity
..Of the times when My will be done
..Of the times when My strength suffices
..Oft when rage usurps my will
..and bitterness smothers my heart
..Oft when I offer on Thy altar
..the shreds and remnents of my precious time
..Of the times when I cling to passionate lust
..and dream of forbidden, sensual ways
..Of the times when I see the lost, dying, seeking
..Only to turn away and dwell in my surety and silence
..Of the times when I take my worldly pleasures
..and revere them in front of Thy jealous face
..Much too often I refuse to heed Thy clear voice
..but heed these three: Me, My and Myself
O, wrenched is my heart
For the spiritual mule that I am
Slow to heed its Master's directions
yet pouncing on each earthly desire
Oh Lord, may this not be of me!
Wake this snivelling fool from his restless slumber!
Teach me, Lord, to love Thy ways
To number my days
To fear Thee and obey Thee
Only then from the clutches of sin fly free!
Hear me, Oh Lord,
I need Thy waking
I desire Thy breaking, moulding and shaping
Make me
Whatever Thou wishes I be
--> Benches Outside SME GO, NTU, 10:45am, 19th September 2000
Poem: The Crevice Edge
The heart-shattering scream of searing torment
Limp corpses thrown off the crevice edge
Some stubborn, some unknowing
Still each having to pay the price of sin
Row upon row of people
Red flames cracking in anticipation
Reflected off each too familiar face
All veiled of eye, too hard of heart
They advance, surely, slowly
Herded on by the Deceiver
Prodded along like helpless slaves
To join him in his final fate
"Stop! Please! Before it is too late!"
"Can't you see what beyond, awaits?"
I screamed till my throat bled
Still no one heard me
From my loft perch
--> Pastor Emmanuel's living room, Pakistan, 11:45pm, 12th June 2000
Reflections of physical death, spritual death, and my lack of evangelism
Triggered by the suicide of Shakeel's cousin, on Shakeel's birthday.
Limp corpses thrown off the crevice edge
Some stubborn, some unknowing
Still each having to pay the price of sin
Row upon row of people
Red flames cracking in anticipation
Reflected off each too familiar face
All veiled of eye, too hard of heart
They advance, surely, slowly
Herded on by the Deceiver
Prodded along like helpless slaves
To join him in his final fate
"Stop! Please! Before it is too late!"
"Can't you see what beyond, awaits?"
I screamed till my throat bled
Still no one heard me
From my loft perch
--> Pastor Emmanuel's living room, Pakistan, 11:45pm, 12th June 2000
Reflections of physical death, spritual death, and my lack of evangelism
Triggered by the suicide of Shakeel's cousin, on Shakeel's birthday.
Poem: zIArat
Ever looming on a hazy horizon
The outlines of God's glorious handiwork
As seen by a stranger's eye
Approaching on a trusty wagon truck
With like-minds in Him
On pungent sandalled soles
And with awesome, wide-eyed grins
Onward, upward tread
To the peak of warfare
Advancing only on our knees
Following 'Boss'
To the high places
Sure of foot
As frogs in mid-air
But sure of God
To answer prayer
--> Pastor Emmanuel's living room, Pakistan, 12:15am, 1st June 2000
My recollection of our journey (via truck and sandals) to the mountain Ziarat in Baluchistan, Pakistan. We took a long trek up to the mountain peak, then Lincoln and I followed David and Peter down (yes, a few hundred metres down) a dried up river train. It was simply breath taking, and yet so scary cos our sandals weren't holding up too well to the slippery terrain. :)
As we prayed on the mountain peak for the nation, we felt God's presence there, and we knew somehow, surveying the land before us, how much He loved the lost there, and how much He wanted His people to reach them for Him.
The outlines of God's glorious handiwork
As seen by a stranger's eye
Approaching on a trusty wagon truck
With like-minds in Him
On pungent sandalled soles
And with awesome, wide-eyed grins
Onward, upward tread
To the peak of warfare
Advancing only on our knees
Following 'Boss'
To the high places
Sure of foot
As frogs in mid-air
But sure of God
To answer prayer
--> Pastor Emmanuel's living room, Pakistan, 12:15am, 1st June 2000
My recollection of our journey (via truck and sandals) to the mountain Ziarat in Baluchistan, Pakistan. We took a long trek up to the mountain peak, then Lincoln and I followed David and Peter down (yes, a few hundred metres down) a dried up river train. It was simply breath taking, and yet so scary cos our sandals weren't holding up too well to the slippery terrain. :)
As we prayed on the mountain peak for the nation, we felt God's presence there, and we knew somehow, surveying the land before us, how much He loved the lost there, and how much He wanted His people to reach them for Him.
Poem: Tell of the Time
Praise be to God!
For He transcends all time
The glory of His handiwork
and of the things yet to come
His deeds told and foretold
through His love and by His living Word
They all beckon our praise to His abode
In our hearts
Praise Him, all you kings and rulers!
Praise Him, all you poor and needy!
For the Lord opposes the proud
And gives grace to the humble
To you whom God has redeemed,
..Tell of the time
..When your life was broken
.. Your heart was hard
..with your tears of stone
..Declare how the Lord gave His love
..which through His Son, was spoken
..Your heart was healed
..And your tears could flow
Praise be to God!
For He comforts the mourning
He breaks our hearts
Thus makes us whole
..Tell of the time
..When you were gripped by oppression
..Tossed by every whisper
..of threats unheard
..Now proclaim his sovereign power
..that upholds us in His hand
..Simply trust His good purpose,
..things of life you needn't fear
Praise be to God!
For surely His mercy and goodness
will keep me always
Be strong and of good courage
for God is for us
..Tell of the time
..When your strength had long expired
..Your bone and sinew heeded not your urging
..And the race seemed beyond your stride
..Then as a weary traveller, sought His refuge
..And the Lord renewed your strength
..To soar unfettered as eagles do
..Oh! How your weakness makes His strength perfect
Praise be to God!
For He will duly reward His faithful
who press toward the goal
To receive the imperishable crown
..Tell of His love
..Let the earth resound with His praise
..That the world may know
..The form of its Creator
..The love in His creation
..Tell it till the day He returns
..Or till our tongues do cease
To God be the glory forever. Amen!
--> Hall 10, 49-3-946, 2:30pm, 23rd Marth 2000
This poem is structured like a psalm, and uses phrases from the bible extensively. Despite the length of it, I feel that it still does God no justice in attempting to describe His awesomeness, and our need to show forth His goodness. He is truly worth of endless praise!
The bone/sinew portion was inspired from the missionary biography of Stan Dale in "Lords of the Earth", written by Don Richardson.
For He transcends all time
The glory of His handiwork
and of the things yet to come
His deeds told and foretold
through His love and by His living Word
They all beckon our praise to His abode
In our hearts
Praise Him, all you kings and rulers!
Praise Him, all you poor and needy!
For the Lord opposes the proud
And gives grace to the humble
To you whom God has redeemed,
..Tell of the time
..When your life was broken
.. Your heart was hard
..with your tears of stone
..Declare how the Lord gave His love
..which through His Son, was spoken
..Your heart was healed
..And your tears could flow
Praise be to God!
For He comforts the mourning
He breaks our hearts
Thus makes us whole
..Tell of the time
..When you were gripped by oppression
..Tossed by every whisper
..of threats unheard
..Now proclaim his sovereign power
..that upholds us in His hand
..Simply trust His good purpose,
..things of life you needn't fear
Praise be to God!
For surely His mercy and goodness
will keep me always
Be strong and of good courage
for God is for us
..Tell of the time
..When your strength had long expired
..Your bone and sinew heeded not your urging
..And the race seemed beyond your stride
..Then as a weary traveller, sought His refuge
..And the Lord renewed your strength
..To soar unfettered as eagles do
..Oh! How your weakness makes His strength perfect
Praise be to God!
For He will duly reward His faithful
who press toward the goal
To receive the imperishable crown
..Tell of His love
..Let the earth resound with His praise
..That the world may know
..The form of its Creator
..The love in His creation
..Tell it till the day He returns
..Or till our tongues do cease
To God be the glory forever. Amen!
--> Hall 10, 49-3-946, 2:30pm, 23rd Marth 2000
This poem is structured like a psalm, and uses phrases from the bible extensively. Despite the length of it, I feel that it still does God no justice in attempting to describe His awesomeness, and our need to show forth His goodness. He is truly worth of endless praise!
The bone/sinew portion was inspired from the missionary biography of Stan Dale in "Lords of the Earth", written by Don Richardson.
Song: Till The Day
Broken shards in the sea of God's plan
Brought together as one by His hands
Each piece He shaped with the utmost care
Moulded into vessels, His
Burden to bear
And though troubles beset us
And our hearts are pierced by sorrow
Still His word is a lamp to our way
He said He'll never leave us
He'll uphold us in His hand
Till the day He comes to claim us once again
Here we are now as His standing stones
To tell of His love, His deeds to make known
To stand firm despite whatever befalls
We'll move any mountain to
Answer His call
When we seek to carry our cross
And consider His gain our loss
So take joy in all our trials
For all things fit in His sovereign plan
And the floods of bitter tears
The Lord will see us through again
--> Location unknown, Feb/Mar 2000
I wrote this song as a reflection on my place, my purpose in joining the mission training/team to Pakistan, during our preparation phase. Oh how sweet it is to know that every work and trial we undergo for God can only draw us closer to Him, till the day we are at His bosom in eternity!
Major revisions in stanzas/music by Lemmy.
Brought together as one by His hands
Each piece He shaped with the utmost care
Moulded into vessels, His
Burden to bear
And though troubles beset us
And our hearts are pierced by sorrow
Still His word is a lamp to our way
He said He'll never leave us
He'll uphold us in His hand
Till the day He comes to claim us once again
Here we are now as His standing stones
To tell of His love, His deeds to make known
To stand firm despite whatever befalls
We'll move any mountain to
Answer His call
When we seek to carry our cross
And consider His gain our loss
So take joy in all our trials
For all things fit in His sovereign plan
And the floods of bitter tears
The Lord will see us through again
--> Location unknown, Feb/Mar 2000
I wrote this song as a reflection on my place, my purpose in joining the mission training/team to Pakistan, during our preparation phase. Oh how sweet it is to know that every work and trial we undergo for God can only draw us closer to Him, till the day we are at His bosom in eternity!
Major revisions in stanzas/music by Lemmy.
Poem : Steps of Man
--> Somewhere in NTU, 5:30pm, 16th September 1999
I was astounded by the similarity between this parallel poem and the comparism of the God centred-man and the self-centred man in Henry Blackaby's "Experiencing God" series.
Song: Happy Teacher's Day
Each we we come to sing God's praise
We are greeted by your gentle face
Your warm, sweet smile sets our hearts aglow
As you teach how God's love to show
Though at times we are quite prone to forget
Or sometimes even make you really sad
You still shower all your care on us
And teach us how to live like Jesus
Each year, one day is never enough
To show how much in you we trust
This song a thanks to our teachers dear
For your guidance, patience and love
HAPPY TEACHERS' DAY!
-- Home, 21st August 1999
I think it was Dawn who asked me to write a song for teachers' day, and I kinda relished the challenge of writing something structured so rigidly (relatively speaking) as a children's song. And yeah, I tried writing the music, but it ended sounding like a sad hymn rather than a happy song. *faints*
Anyway, Dawn composed a really nice tune and the song turned out really nice. :)
We are greeted by your gentle face
Your warm, sweet smile sets our hearts aglow
As you teach how God's love to show
Though at times we are quite prone to forget
Or sometimes even make you really sad
You still shower all your care on us
And teach us how to live like Jesus
Each year, one day is never enough
To show how much in you we trust
This song a thanks to our teachers dear
For your guidance, patience and love
HAPPY TEACHERS' DAY!
-- Home, 21st August 1999
I think it was Dawn who asked me to write a song for teachers' day, and I kinda relished the challenge of writing something structured so rigidly (relatively speaking) as a children's song. And yeah, I tried writing the music, but it ended sounding like a sad hymn rather than a happy song. *faints*
Anyway, Dawn composed a really nice tune and the song turned out really nice. :)
Poem: My Testimony
Reflections of my childhood,
innocent and carefree
I learned of the Lord Jesus
And what He had done for me
He moved my heart
Tenderly called me to His love
So I embraced Him in child-like faith
And from these chains of sin was saved
(Thank You Lord for Your grace!)
Reflections of my youth,
Scattered frealisations dawned on my mallleable mind
An avalanche of Questions
A phletora of merciless, piercing, staggering Doubts
What's the meaning of life?
Do we live to die?
What's my purpose in life?
What shall be my guide?
Is there truly justice?
The rich have power, the poor get poorer!
Why is mankind so cruel?
Politics, corruption, manipulation,
Gree, war destruction.
Thus I shrank into a bubble, of
...Isolation
Wont to voice my troubles, grows
...Frustration
I hated this world
Of clones trudging on to become
The ideal finished product of society
Akin to a psychopathic toy factory
Who's to save me from this incessant maddening?
Was I doomed to laugh to tears for naught?
Where were these answers I so desperately sought?
Yet for years, my sister,
My dear, dear sister prayed for me
And my Lord healed my shattered soul that on blessed night
As years of hurt dissolved in tears
As I long wept on my knees
My Lord restored to me my heart, my soul and my sanity.
-- NTU Hall 10 49-3-946, 1:06pm, 12th July 1999
I carry this poem in my wallet, as a reminder of how God preserved me from insanity. Praise God for His mercy and goodness, which saved a wretch like me. Hallelujah!
innocent and carefree
I learned of the Lord Jesus
And what He had done for me
He moved my heart
Tenderly called me to His love
So I embraced Him in child-like faith
And from these chains of sin was saved
(Thank You Lord for Your grace!)
Reflections of my youth,
Scattered frealisations dawned on my mallleable mind
An avalanche of Questions
A phletora of merciless, piercing, staggering Doubts
What's the meaning of life?
Do we live to die?
What's my purpose in life?
What shall be my guide?
Is there truly justice?
The rich have power, the poor get poorer!
Why is mankind so cruel?
Politics, corruption, manipulation,
Gree, war destruction.
Thus I shrank into a bubble, of
...Isolation
Wont to voice my troubles, grows
...Frustration
I hated this world
Of clones trudging on to become
The ideal finished product of society
Akin to a psychopathic toy factory
Who's to save me from this incessant maddening?
Was I doomed to laugh to tears for naught?
Where were these answers I so desperately sought?
Yet for years, my sister,
My dear, dear sister prayed for me
And my Lord healed my shattered soul that on blessed night
As years of hurt dissolved in tears
As I long wept on my knees
My Lord restored to me my heart, my soul and my sanity.
-- NTU Hall 10 49-3-946, 1:06pm, 12th July 1999
I carry this poem in my wallet, as a reminder of how God preserved me from insanity. Praise God for His mercy and goodness, which saved a wretch like me. Hallelujah!
Thursday, September 13, 2007
Blog Entry: Almost done!
Phew, I'm almost done posting up my poems. Finished all up till 1996. A few more recent ones to post (actually, I'm just storing them online just in case I lose my poetry notebooks), and I can start blogging proper :)
To me, poetry is like a journal, recording my journey into near-insanity, the thoughts of war/anger/discontentment/etc that triggered it, and eventually how God presevered my life and my mind, healing me of my bitterness and saving me from madness forever.
Here then on, my poetry has a purpose, (other than writing love poems for my wife, of course :P ) which is to reflect God's goodness in my life, and to inspire others to draw near to Him. I have no more need for melancholy, self-pity or railing hatred at the evil of man. Man is sinful by nature, but God is sovereign. Amen? :D
Hopefully, I can post more poetry here to encourage people, and that would be a nice hearty motivation for me to start writing again.
Ok, time to grab some food. Byeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
To me, poetry is like a journal, recording my journey into near-insanity, the thoughts of war/anger/discontentment/etc that triggered it, and eventually how God presevered my life and my mind, healing me of my bitterness and saving me from madness forever.
Here then on, my poetry has a purpose, (other than writing love poems for my wife, of course :P ) which is to reflect God's goodness in my life, and to inspire others to draw near to Him. I have no more need for melancholy, self-pity or railing hatred at the evil of man. Man is sinful by nature, but God is sovereign. Amen? :D
Hopefully, I can post more poetry here to encourage people, and that would be a nice hearty motivation for me to start writing again.
Ok, time to grab some food. Byeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
Poem: A Trickle of Memory
Winds howling, beat vainly, his brow
Sludge, mud; all for naught, his stride
Remorse, nor regret, awash his frown
Just transfixed, bereft of life
A man, unburdened,
Seen loves and loved passed
A man, hardened
through the sweetness of dust
A trickle of memory...
Fires raged through carnage
yet unworthy of his pain
As his eyes described to him;
All perished. Slain.
A man, subverted
to vengence, to hate
A man, too numbed
to mourn the dead
Each on he learned of,
Flashed past time
He saw each demise
with that one, inert eye
Then as he knelt by the river
To wash the last's blood
He saw his strange face
In the water's red flood
--> Home, 9:11pm, 15th November 1996
A poem about a killer, who slew everyone who impeded his vengence. After he had his revenge, and his rage subsided, he recognised not his own face.
Sludge, mud; all for naught, his stride
Remorse, nor regret, awash his frown
Just transfixed, bereft of life
A man, unburdened,
Seen loves and loved passed
A man, hardened
through the sweetness of dust
A trickle of memory...
Fires raged through carnage
yet unworthy of his pain
As his eyes described to him;
All perished. Slain.
A man, subverted
to vengence, to hate
A man, too numbed
to mourn the dead
Each on he learned of,
Flashed past time
He saw each demise
with that one, inert eye
Then as he knelt by the river
To wash the last's blood
He saw his strange face
In the water's red flood
--> Home, 9:11pm, 15th November 1996
A poem about a killer, who slew everyone who impeded his vengence. After he had his revenge, and his rage subsided, he recognised not his own face.
Poem: Gem
A rock's sparkle,
Once only nature's manifestation
But once set in man's bias
Alters its destiny,
. .Destination
Beyond its will
Its hide sliced and shed
Impaled by incisive machinations
. . Fascination
Unsolitary in the throes
of replicated agony
Then bound by an infinte loop
of fool's gold
. . He oft spoil what he would hold.
--> Location unknown, some time in August 1996
Such is the pain of a natural diamond, reshaped and mercilessly cut by man into his own perception of beauty. Sadly, such is true of man's manipulation of material and other people in order to fulfill his fascinations.
Once only nature's manifestation
But once set in man's bias
Alters its destiny,
. .Destination
Beyond its will
Its hide sliced and shed
Impaled by incisive machinations
. . Fascination
Unsolitary in the throes
of replicated agony
Then bound by an infinte loop
of fool's gold
. . He oft spoil what he would hold.
--> Location unknown, some time in August 1996
Such is the pain of a natural diamond, reshaped and mercilessly cut by man into his own perception of beauty. Sadly, such is true of man's manipulation of material and other people in order to fulfill his fascinations.
Poem: Herself
The diminshed silouhette
of a fading spark
As if headed 'neath the sun
beyond the reach of many arms
nearly distant
from all but herself
Yet equidistant as herself
from her self
For her self,
had too many arms.
--> Location unknown, 21st May 1996
I had stopped writing for a bit, till I exchanged poems with my classmate, Eddie Khoo. He has a very abstract way of writing, very oblique compared to my own forceful style.
This poem describes the life of a person, who did too much ("had too many arms"), moved too fast and became a stranger to everyone ("beyond the reach of many arms"), and when she had grown old and feeble, realised that she doesn't even recognise herself any more (that equidistant portion)
of a fading spark
As if headed 'neath the sun
beyond the reach of many arms
nearly distant
from all but herself
Yet equidistant as herself
from her self
For her self,
had too many arms.
--> Location unknown, 21st May 1996
I had stopped writing for a bit, till I exchanged poems with my classmate, Eddie Khoo. He has a very abstract way of writing, very oblique compared to my own forceful style.
This poem describes the life of a person, who did too much ("had too many arms"), moved too fast and became a stranger to everyone ("beyond the reach of many arms"), and when she had grown old and feeble, realised that she doesn't even recognise herself any more (that equidistant portion)
Poem: Take Flight
Expounded by the wind
Into the shimmering sun's flare
Yet undaunted by the obstacles
Unseen, unsought, unaware
Spearheaded beyond our realm
Through the tarnished, cracking seams
They believe in what they see
Their trust within their dreams
So come embrace this liberty
With such unfettered abandon
Take flight, my friends, take flight!
Discard your woes, my foes, take flight!
So raise your minds and free your eyes
And soar unbound above and free
Savour the sweet aftertaste
Of the flight from reality
Those immaculate figures turn back a glance
As they fade from the naked eye
A subtle gesture of a waved hand
A hand for all to take
So release your soul to rejuvenation
And soar beyond your dreams
Taste the joyous esctacy
of the flight of fantasy
--> Location unknown, 24th January 1996
This poem was inspired by the theme song from the cartoon "Flight of Dragons" by Peter Dickenson, and empowered by my newfound love for escapism. :)
Into the shimmering sun's flare
Yet undaunted by the obstacles
Unseen, unsought, unaware
Spearheaded beyond our realm
Through the tarnished, cracking seams
They believe in what they see
Their trust within their dreams
So come embrace this liberty
With such unfettered abandon
Take flight, my friends, take flight!
Discard your woes, my foes, take flight!
So raise your minds and free your eyes
And soar unbound above and free
Savour the sweet aftertaste
Of the flight from reality
Those immaculate figures turn back a glance
As they fade from the naked eye
A subtle gesture of a waved hand
A hand for all to take
So release your soul to rejuvenation
And soar beyond your dreams
Taste the joyous esctacy
of the flight of fantasy
--> Location unknown, 24th January 1996
This poem was inspired by the theme song from the cartoon "Flight of Dragons" by Peter Dickenson, and empowered by my newfound love for escapism. :)
Poem: Drowned in Sleep
Drowned by the incessant droning of swaying
heard from a wrecked galley hull
Of a distant time and space
That I've seen before somehow
Was it in my sleep? A dream?
Or a hallucination borne of a flustered mind?
Have my senses resorted to trickery?
Oh, these answers, an elusive find
My search brings me deep
into a dank tunnel of queries
As I wade through a sea of drowned voices
Lost, enshrouded in nauseous mystery
--> Location unknown, some time in October 1995
When I started writing this, I pictured myself as an old sailor, exploring the wreck of ship he used to sail. Searching for his lost memory, he started recalling that........
Then something broke my concentration, (probrably end of a lecture or something :P) and I lost the feel for it.
heard from a wrecked galley hull
Of a distant time and space
That I've seen before somehow
Was it in my sleep? A dream?
Or a hallucination borne of a flustered mind?
Have my senses resorted to trickery?
Oh, these answers, an elusive find
My search brings me deep
into a dank tunnel of queries
As I wade through a sea of drowned voices
Lost, enshrouded in nauseous mystery
--> Location unknown, some time in October 1995
When I started writing this, I pictured myself as an old sailor, exploring the wreck of ship he used to sail. Searching for his lost memory, he started recalling that........
Then something broke my concentration, (probrably end of a lecture or something :P) and I lost the feel for it.
Poem: A Place
Take my hand, my self, my soul
To distance, from the blizzard cold
To the luscious greens and vivid seas,
To a place of warmth, so long foregone
A haven to tend our aching hearts
A haven to rest our weary pasts
To heed the silence of the tranquil parts
A lesson learnt, forever last
This place, unseen by mundane eyes
A place of peace, a place to hide
I yearn thee, bring me there, I ask
To this place of love and hope at last
--> RJC LT4, 20th September 1995
A little bit of escapism (from the maths lecture probably), but it is my 2nd attempt at writing something cheerful, and I thought then that I was getting better at it :)
To distance, from the blizzard cold
To the luscious greens and vivid seas,
To a place of warmth, so long foregone
A haven to tend our aching hearts
A haven to rest our weary pasts
To heed the silence of the tranquil parts
A lesson learnt, forever last
This place, unseen by mundane eyes
A place of peace, a place to hide
I yearn thee, bring me there, I ask
To this place of love and hope at last
--> RJC LT4, 20th September 1995
A little bit of escapism (from the maths lecture probably), but it is my 2nd attempt at writing something cheerful, and I thought then that I was getting better at it :)
Poem: Stifling
A heartfelt want slips
from a young child's grasp
Left him crying
Wrenched in soul and heart
Perhaps it was too much
for him to ask
For a want, in dreams
so surely cast
He holds the fragments dear in his palms
As his tear dried up and hardened
But urges from a headstrong guardian
expels hims back to mundane convention
--> Location unknown, 15th September 1995
A portrayal of society's (the 'guardian') stiflement of human desires, even to disallow one to grieve or mourn 'inappropriately'.
from a young child's grasp
Left him crying
Wrenched in soul and heart
Perhaps it was too much
for him to ask
For a want, in dreams
so surely cast
He holds the fragments dear in his palms
As his tear dried up and hardened
But urges from a headstrong guardian
expels hims back to mundane convention
--> Location unknown, 15th September 1995
A portrayal of society's (the 'guardian') stiflement of human desires, even to disallow one to grieve or mourn 'inappropriately'.
Poem: Cause and Effect
With betrayal comes retribution
With hatred comes more of himself
With offence comes retaliation
And vengence begets itself
With ploughing comes harvest
With destruction comes creation
With victory comes defeat
And impact begets repercussions
Consequences of our actions
Littered on the roadside
Leaving us in the dark
Unknown alleys of our lives
--> RJC LT1, Maths Lecture, 4.15pm, 2nd September 1995
Look behind you, at the trail of your actions. Is the trail dark, unlit, because you didn't think or care about it? Or are you committed to caring for those that you touch in every step of your life?
With hatred comes more of himself
With offence comes retaliation
And vengence begets itself
With ploughing comes harvest
With destruction comes creation
With victory comes defeat
And impact begets repercussions
Consequences of our actions
Littered on the roadside
Leaving us in the dark
Unknown alleys of our lives
--> RJC LT1, Maths Lecture, 4.15pm, 2nd September 1995
Look behind you, at the trail of your actions. Is the trail dark, unlit, because you didn't think or care about it? Or are you committed to caring for those that you touch in every step of your life?
Poem: Sanity and Such
Insanity shows off a gleeful face
A swelling burst from pent-up days
An ailment recurring ever now and then
Incurable, but enjoyabe in many ways
Madness rears its ugly head
Untame laughter and wild hollering
Soothing screams of heartfelt needs
Pierce the transcient sanctity
Now sanity wages its crusade
Against its errant foes
A massive onslaught, to set things straight
To put their heads to roll
But with time, comes a calm onset
A time for peace, the soul to rest
Madness falls back, soons falls dead
Insanity retreats to its dormant state
A minor skirmish won yet again
Another triumph for the sane
But sullen madness rises, yet reborn
The final battles have yet been won
--> Bus #165, Upper Thomson Road, 3.35 pm, 21st August 1995
By Aug1995, I have come to marvel that I somehow had not yet gone insane. Each time I crossed the line, something keep me from going beyond the 'point of no return'. Today, I know it is the Holy Spirit that preserved my mind and my life. Hallelujah!
A swelling burst from pent-up days
An ailment recurring ever now and then
Incurable, but enjoyabe in many ways
Madness rears its ugly head
Untame laughter and wild hollering
Soothing screams of heartfelt needs
Pierce the transcient sanctity
Now sanity wages its crusade
Against its errant foes
A massive onslaught, to set things straight
To put their heads to roll
But with time, comes a calm onset
A time for peace, the soul to rest
Madness falls back, soons falls dead
Insanity retreats to its dormant state
A minor skirmish won yet again
Another triumph for the sane
But sullen madness rises, yet reborn
The final battles have yet been won
--> Bus #165, Upper Thomson Road, 3.35 pm, 21st August 1995
By Aug1995, I have come to marvel that I somehow had not yet gone insane. Each time I crossed the line, something keep me from going beyond the 'point of no return'. Today, I know it is the Holy Spirit that preserved my mind and my life. Hallelujah!
Poem: Waiting
Awaiting her forthcoming hour,
She stands alone, expectant
Of many faces and many ways
And unfulfilled aspirations
Out her windows she glares
at the waning horizon
The graying skies of her life
Cloud her inspiration
Long past, in her prime, where life was short
She lived her life her way
Conceit and greed reigned supreme
Her life, she had wasted away.
So there she stands, a withered rose bud
Waiting, waiting to bloom
The dark, stale wind blows at her,
Her petals to their doom
--> RJC LT3, Computing Lecture, 10am 17th July 1995
We only have one chance at life. What will you do with yours?
She stands alone, expectant
Of many faces and many ways
And unfulfilled aspirations
Out her windows she glares
at the waning horizon
The graying skies of her life
Cloud her inspiration
Long past, in her prime, where life was short
She lived her life her way
Conceit and greed reigned supreme
Her life, she had wasted away.
So there she stands, a withered rose bud
Waiting, waiting to bloom
The dark, stale wind blows at her,
Her petals to their doom
--> RJC LT3, Computing Lecture, 10am 17th July 1995
We only have one chance at life. What will you do with yours?
Poem: Misunderstood
Roaming of the pathway
A mess of emotions flared
Drooped head in the shadows
of a solitary street light.
A tear of frustration
Eludes his shaken pride,
Expelled by his confusion,
Shown in his teary eyes
Comfrot beckons him
to its humble abode
But despair has already
waylaid his path
He ransacks his soul
to seek redemption
Only to find
a grieveful laugh
Roaming on the pathway
He looks up to the sky
Roaming on the pathway
With no one to hear his cry
--> RJC LT4, Maths Lecture, 3.30pm 28th July 1995
Metaphor of how one would feel when misunderstood, when nobody will hear your explanation, and ignore your pleas for reconciliation.
A mess of emotions flared
Drooped head in the shadows
of a solitary street light.
A tear of frustration
Eludes his shaken pride,
Expelled by his confusion,
Shown in his teary eyes
Comfrot beckons him
to its humble abode
But despair has already
waylaid his path
He ransacks his soul
to seek redemption
Only to find
a grieveful laugh
Roaming on the pathway
He looks up to the sky
Roaming on the pathway
With no one to hear his cry
--> RJC LT4, Maths Lecture, 3.30pm 28th July 1995
Metaphor of how one would feel when misunderstood, when nobody will hear your explanation, and ignore your pleas for reconciliation.
Poem: The Other Side
He stands there at the crevasse edge
Looking down at the endless darkness.
What accursed force so demented
To force these rocks apart?
Who's all wise to guide this fool,
To quench his yearning heart?
Tears he fights, crading his pride
Decisions he holds at bay.
I see him from the other side
I see him, oh, my other side.
He beckons me, 'Help me please!'
'I know not how to act!'
I beckon him 'Jump! Don't hesitate!'
'And free yourself at last!'
So with a casual step, I walk over,
Only to see him jump.
Now I look down to the darkness
To have an apparition of fear strike me.
Left me weeping, cringing on my knees
As I raise my head to see
'Heavens! Have I been blind?'
'Why looks it beyond my stride?'
'Why was I such a short-minded fool?'
'Not to see things from the other side?'
--> Home, 11.15pm 24th May 1995
This is one of my favourite pieces, cos it has alot of meaning to me:
- Life should be seen in more ways besides your own. Only a fool lives and judges others based only on his own world-view.
- Fear can paralyze, but if we see it as it truly is, we need not be held captive
Looking down at the endless darkness.
What accursed force so demented
To force these rocks apart?
Who's all wise to guide this fool,
To quench his yearning heart?
Tears he fights, crading his pride
Decisions he holds at bay.
I see him from the other side
I see him, oh, my other side.
He beckons me, 'Help me please!'
'I know not how to act!'
I beckon him 'Jump! Don't hesitate!'
'And free yourself at last!'
So with a casual step, I walk over,
Only to see him jump.
Now I look down to the darkness
To have an apparition of fear strike me.
Left me weeping, cringing on my knees
As I raise my head to see
'Heavens! Have I been blind?'
'Why looks it beyond my stride?'
'Why was I such a short-minded fool?'
'Not to see things from the other side?'
--> Home, 11.15pm 24th May 1995
This is one of my favourite pieces, cos it has alot of meaning to me:
- Life should be seen in more ways besides your own. Only a fool lives and judges others based only on his own world-view.
- Fear can paralyze, but if we see it as it truly is, we need not be held captive
Poem: Revealed Again
A reminder of my days long past
Flashes before my eyes,
Jerks me back from my self-delusion
The illusion that clouded my sight
The shelter behind which I hide
Now with so much time passing
And feelings sheved and sealed
Now torn open and hown to me
The oppressed emotion, I'm unsure of still
Rooted in my early days
It grew, bloomed and shone
Even with time it never decayed
After darkness in which enclosed
Now with this flash igniting the flame
I look upon this flower
Weary, but stil withered not
Abandoned, then grown untame
As I write in confusion
And a coward's shame
--> Unkown location, 18th May 1995
This poem deals with any suppressed guilt, and how it affects a person if not dealt with. This is also my first attempt at writing in prose. (Yes, I was trying to break away from the 4-line a/a/b/b or a/b/a/b style that marked my earlier darker poems)
Flashes before my eyes,
Jerks me back from my self-delusion
The illusion that clouded my sight
The shelter behind which I hide
Now with so much time passing
And feelings sheved and sealed
Now torn open and hown to me
The oppressed emotion, I'm unsure of still
Rooted in my early days
It grew, bloomed and shone
Even with time it never decayed
After darkness in which enclosed
Now with this flash igniting the flame
I look upon this flower
Weary, but stil withered not
Abandoned, then grown untame
As I write in confusion
And a coward's shame
--> Unkown location, 18th May 1995
This poem deals with any suppressed guilt, and how it affects a person if not dealt with. This is also my first attempt at writing in prose. (Yes, I was trying to break away from the 4-line a/a/b/b or a/b/a/b style that marked my earlier darker poems)
Poem: Our World, Alive
Rustling leaves in the autumn breeze
Dancing e'er so merrily
Blown towards the dipping sun
Ever all so bright with glee
Our resting friend now lays his head
On teh horizon, bathed in red
Tranquility, with the fading of light
Welcoming the cool embrace of night
Listen!
A congregation beneath the fields
Ah, with song and chirpy sounds
Happy dances filled with laughter
Consuming the silence thereafter
Our world, our have, our resting ground
Our home filled with life abound.
Let's wish for her well-being forever
Our world, our love, our sacred treasure
--> RJC Language Lab, Computing Lecture, 5th April 1995
I guess I was looking back at "A Dying World", and I decided I wanted to be more positive in life. So I wrote my first happy poem in my life ever. Kindy cheesy I think, but I gotta start somewhere right?
Dancing e'er so merrily
Blown towards the dipping sun
Ever all so bright with glee
Our resting friend now lays his head
On teh horizon, bathed in red
Tranquility, with the fading of light
Welcoming the cool embrace of night
Listen!
A congregation beneath the fields
Ah, with song and chirpy sounds
Happy dances filled with laughter
Consuming the silence thereafter
Our world, our have, our resting ground
Our home filled with life abound.
Let's wish for her well-being forever
Our world, our love, our sacred treasure
--> RJC Language Lab, Computing Lecture, 5th April 1995
I guess I was looking back at "A Dying World", and I decided I wanted to be more positive in life. So I wrote my first happy poem in my life ever. Kindy cheesy I think, but I gotta start somewhere right?
Poem: A Dying World
Flames engulf, devour the plains
A crackling rampage, spares no pain
Sparks flirt with Life, set it alight
Does he not know, his end is nigh?
Showers of acide pound away our land
Mountains rubbled down to sand
Landscapes carnaged before our eyes
The beauty and life since before our time
What have we done?
Does nature deserve this?
She suffers for our crimes
Slowly dies, slowly dies
--> RJC Hall, 1.26pm some time in March 1995
I wrote this the same day asLoss. Guess I was feeling really down and was thinking about environmental issues.
A crackling rampage, spares no pain
Sparks flirt with Life, set it alight
Does he not know, his end is nigh?
Showers of acide pound away our land
Mountains rubbled down to sand
Landscapes carnaged before our eyes
The beauty and life since before our time
What have we done?
Does nature deserve this?
She suffers for our crimes
Slowly dies, slowly dies
--> RJC Hall, 1.26pm some time in March 1995
I wrote this the same day as
Poem: Loss
Frustration swells from beneath my skin
He, the sore, so seldom shown
The hermit, he just grew within
Now erupts in rage and agony unknown
The explosion shrieks through my very soul
So violent yet so tormentingly slow
Ruptures my nerves one by one
But yet, I still feel so cold
The icy wind chills to the bone
The wind that comes with no mercy
But there's no worse feeling I've ever had
Compared to the loss of a true friend
--> RJC Hall, 9.30am, some time in March 1995
He, the sore, so seldom shown
The hermit, he just grew within
Now erupts in rage and agony unknown
The explosion shrieks through my very soul
So violent yet so tormentingly slow
Ruptures my nerves one by one
But yet, I still feel so cold
The icy wind chills to the bone
The wind that comes with no mercy
But there's no worse feeling I've ever had
Compared to the loss of a true friend
--> RJC Hall, 9.30am, some time in March 1995
Poem: Seeping Away
Jet streams of mist
Surge from the ground
Sears my vision
Burning with confusion
My hands extend
beyond my vision
All in vain
to ease my pain
Lost! Blinded!
Save my wretched soul!
My life is seeping away
Through my mind's black hole
I cling desperately
To my last branch of sanity
The leaves befallen to the ground
Then sucked into calamity
A demon from my head
Greets me, mocks me, taunts me
Entices me to let go,
As my torment grows
I look into his face
So distant, yet so familiar,
That hate-embracing sneer
He stares straight back at me.
--> RJC LT2, Maths Lecture, 10.30am 7th February 1995
A mild version of my struggle with insanity, while I was still trying to get a grip on what was happening in my mind.
Surge from the ground
Sears my vision
Burning with confusion
My hands extend
beyond my vision
All in vain
to ease my pain
Lost! Blinded!
Save my wretched soul!
My life is seeping away
Through my mind's black hole
I cling desperately
To my last branch of sanity
The leaves befallen to the ground
Then sucked into calamity
A demon from my head
Greets me, mocks me, taunts me
Entices me to let go,
As my torment grows
I look into his face
So distant, yet so familiar,
That hate-embracing sneer
He stares straight back at me.
--> RJC LT2, Maths Lecture, 10.30am 7th February 1995
A mild version of my struggle with insanity, while I was still trying to get a grip on what was happening in my mind.
Wednesday, September 12, 2007
Poem: Study Woes
Lectures, to skip or not to skip?
That is a question.
To skip and get white-slipped?
Nah, just go in, freeze and sleep.
But why do we do so?
Should students lie, stoop (zzz) so low?
Is it wrong or is it right?
Someone save me from this plight
I'm now just getting paranoid
Tutorials, , way behind time
Just too lazy, undisciplined.
Waittasecond that's no crime!
A dose of discipline, it should help
But my self rejects it, coughs it out
I rush into a lazer's foray
And lag behind a year and a day
'Tis a plea for mercy?
Need I pills from a pharmacy?
Seems like I'm going crazy,
Oops, crazy's just a subset of me.
Perhaps concentration is what I need
But confusion, distraction, they on me feed.
Idiocy's flames engulf my pitiable heart
Like a fool and his wisdom depart.
So, that's part of what I have to say
I'm gonna finish my homework today
Check my answers on the spot
Become a mugger.
NOT! :P
--> RJC LT4, Maths Lecture 1:20pm 16th Feb 1995
I really enjoy lectures, when I'm not paying attention :D
That is a question.
To skip and get white-slipped?
Nah, just go in, freeze and sleep.
But why do we do so?
Should students lie, stoop (zzz) so low?
Is it wrong or is it right?
Someone save me from this plight
I'm now just getting paranoid
Tutorials,
Just too lazy, undisciplined.
Waittasecond that's no crime!
A dose of discipline, it should help
But my self rejects it, coughs it out
I rush into a lazer's foray
And lag behind a year and a day
'Tis a plea for mercy?
Need I pills from a pharmacy?
Seems like I'm going crazy,
Oops, crazy's just a subset of me.
Perhaps concentration is what I need
But confusion, distraction, they on me feed.
Idiocy's flames engulf my pitiable heart
Like a fool and his wisdom depart.
So, that's part of what I have to say
I'm gonna finish my homework today
Check my answers on the spot
Become a mugger.
NOT! :P
--> RJC LT4, Maths Lecture 1:20pm 16th Feb 1995
I really enjoy lectures, when I'm not paying attention :D
small group & my water heater
we r going 4 small group in 25 mins time. It's amazing how long we've been doing tis, n the people come back for more fellowship each wk. Dunno how many people will come today. Our numbers are like the stock market! Good days, we have 14 fine people. Rainy days, 6 of us in all.
Best of all, sms them but 90% of them always never reply. Poor Ligin want to make dessert cannot estimate how much to cook for us. ^.^
Anyway, I took leave today to get my storage heater fixed. The people from Amasco still charged me $35 'transport fee' even though it was still under warranty. Pffft.....
Oh well, better than bathing in cold water rite? We've been pouring boiled water into a 20litre pail (about 9 to 1 ratio), and using a scoop to pour water over ourselves during bath time. (haha now we know exactly how much water we each use for bath, can check if utility bill is correct or not. :P
My wife can't live w/o hot water. She's the type who can soak in a hot bath for 3 hours and not feel tired of it. Aiyo, I bathe 5 mins happy liao go do other things. So waste time one.....
Oh well, she enjoy can liao lor. I bathe to live, she live to bathe. Something like that ya.
Maybe one day she'll post something about all the scrubs/lotions/masks/doodlebags/watever she got stocked up in the toilet (but like never use leh, why ar?).
Ok ok time running out, time to go liao. Byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
Best of all, sms them but 90% of them always never reply. Poor Ligin want to make dessert cannot estimate how much to cook for us. ^.^
Anyway, I took leave today to get my storage heater fixed. The people from Amasco still charged me $35 'transport fee' even though it was still under warranty. Pffft.....
Oh well, better than bathing in cold water rite? We've been pouring boiled water into a 20litre pail (about 9 to 1 ratio), and using a scoop to pour water over ourselves during bath time. (haha now we know exactly how much water we each use for bath, can check if utility bill is correct or not. :P
My wife can't live w/o hot water. She's the type who can soak in a hot bath for 3 hours and not feel tired of it. Aiyo, I bathe 5 mins happy liao go do other things. So waste time one.....
Oh well, she enjoy can liao lor. I bathe to live, she live to bathe. Something like that ya.
Maybe one day she'll post something about all the scrubs/lotions/masks/doodlebags/watever she got stocked up in the toilet (but like never use leh, why ar?).
Ok ok time running out, time to go liao. Byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
Poem: New Year
Lo! Behold! A new year's here
Time has flown us by so fast
Christmas season, now just past
Last year, I'd say, it did last
Regret? No point! Now what's the use?
We didn't study till we blew a fuse
Mug till all our screws came loose
Instead of listening, we took a snooze
Reslove to be better this year?
Last ear I tried, but failed, I fear
"So try again!" I tell myself
But ot fail again, get professional help!
Now for my resolutions!
Advance in my evolution
To grow a brain and use'em
Cherish this year lest I lose'em
But most all, to be myself
Make more friends, tell less lies
Play more games, stay in shape
To hang around, and watch time fly
So life goes on, I'd always say
(Much to some people's dismay)
And make the most out of
The next 365 days!
--> Location unkown, Christmas Eve 1994
Self explanatory, I thought I wasted another year of my life studying till my brain "blew a fuse" :D
Time has flown us by so fast
Christmas season, now just past
Last year, I'd say, it did last
Regret? No point! Now what's the use?
We didn't study till we blew a fuse
Mug till all our screws came loose
Instead of listening, we took a snooze
Reslove to be better this year?
Last ear I tried, but failed, I fear
"So try again!" I tell myself
But ot fail again, get professional help!
Now for my resolutions!
Advance in my evolution
To grow a brain and use'em
Cherish this year lest I lose'em
But most all, to be myself
Make more friends, tell less lies
Play more games, stay in shape
To hang around, and watch time fly
So life goes on, I'd always say
(Much to some people's dismay)
And make the most out of
The next 365 days!
--> Location unkown, Christmas Eve 1994
Self explanatory, I thought I wasted another year of my life studying till my brain "blew a fuse" :D
Poem: Freedom
Freedom is treasured
Freedom to speak, hear, see
Freedom to perceive, like, dislike
Freedom to believe
But total freedom is impossible
Freedom to rape, kill, plunder
But to restrict all freedom
Is an ungainly, disastrous blunder
So how much freedom should anyone have?
Who's to decide?
Opinions will clash
Alas! to maintain 'order',
Some freedom is curbed
But never the freedom to think,
The freedom to love
--> Location unkown, 7th November 1994
I think this was during the last stretch of my 'O' levels, so I was happy it's gonna be over. But then, 'A' levels would arrive in 2 years time, so I had to console myself haha :P
Freedom to speak, hear, see
Freedom to perceive, like, dislike
Freedom to believe
But total freedom is impossible
Freedom to rape, kill, plunder
But to restrict all freedom
Is an ungainly, disastrous blunder
So how much freedom should anyone have?
Who's to decide?
Opinions will clash
Alas! to maintain 'order',
Some freedom is curbed
But never the freedom to think,
The freedom to love
--> Location unkown, 7th November 1994
I think this was during the last stretch of my 'O' levels, so I was happy it's gonna be over. But then, 'A' levels would arrive in 2 years time, so I had to console myself haha :P
Poem: Come Out and Play!
Sleeping takes up 1/3 of our lives
We use only 10% of our minds
Much of our youth is spent studying away
So much is wasted, so much time.
But the sun, she shines on anyway
Always showering someone with heat and light
But though she's not wasting no time
We know she'll shrink to nothing one fine day
So listen to what I want to say
We al, like her, will die some day
Express yourself, as life's too short
Sieze the day, come out and play!
--> Location unkown, some time around Oct 1994
Triggered when I read some science article about how little we understand out brain's workings. Pity, we don't use our brain more :P
We use only 10% of our minds
Much of our youth is spent studying away
So much is wasted, so much time.
But the sun, she shines on anyway
Always showering someone with heat and light
But though she's not wasting no time
We know she'll shrink to nothing one fine day
So listen to what I want to say
We al, like her, will die some day
Express yourself, as life's too short
Sieze the day, come out and play!
--> Location unkown, some time around Oct 1994
Triggered when I read some science article about how little we understand out brain's workings. Pity, we don't use our brain more :P
Tuesday, September 11, 2007
Poem: Wizdumb
Wizdumb is a wizard who's dumb
Words of wisdom he has none
When he opens his mouth to speak
We see him toothless, rotten gums
So, dumb is meaning he can't talk
Now, don't be dumb, well, he's not dumb
Brains and IQ he's got some
His mind is ticking like an alarm clock
He rings with ideas loud and proud
And in his papers he stores them well
Everything's written down, big and small
Pity he aint letting us see them all
--> Location unkown, some time around Aug 1994
Silly little rhyme formed of silly thoughts. Just having fun :D
Words of wisdom he has none
When he opens his mouth to speak
We see him toothless, rotten gums
So, dumb is meaning he can't talk
Now, don't be dumb, well, he's not dumb
Brains and IQ he's got some
His mind is ticking like an alarm clock
He rings with ideas loud and proud
And in his papers he stores them well
Everything's written down, big and small
Pity he aint letting us see them all
--> Location unkown, some time around Aug 1994
Silly little rhyme formed of silly thoughts. Just having fun :D
Poem: War
War, a creation,
A creation of Man
The creation of destruction
Ravaging our land
Weapons of war,
Instilled with immense power,
With enough devastation
To destroy Earth ten times over
War machines built, designed
To suppress the weaker
To their fates, resigned,
Coerced to surrender
Freedom confiscated
The conquered suffer.
But what is it that
These madmen are after?
Wealth? Power?
Or an insane war-lust?
The urge to conquer
Just overwhelming us?
Or is it fame or glory
To make us feel good?
To be the centre of attention
Or in the history books?
Perhaps survival of the fittest?
Or revenge, personal grudge?
But deprive others we will
With war's tormenting touch
Damn the war!
Condemn it to hell
If we do nothing to stop it,
We'll go down with it as well.
--> Location unkown, some time around October 1994
What would drive a man to lead a nation to war? Only God truly knows, I guess. o_0
A creation of Man
The creation of destruction
Ravaging our land
Weapons of war,
Instilled with immense power,
With enough devastation
To destroy Earth ten times over
War machines built, designed
To suppress the weaker
To their fates, resigned,
Coerced to surrender
Freedom confiscated
The conquered suffer.
But what is it that
These madmen are after?
Wealth? Power?
Or an insane war-lust?
The urge to conquer
Just overwhelming us?
Or is it fame or glory
To make us feel good?
To be the centre of attention
Or in the history books?
Perhaps survival of the fittest?
Or revenge, personal grudge?
But deprive others we will
With war's tormenting touch
Damn the war!
Condemn it to hell
If we do nothing to stop it,
We'll go down with it as well.
--> Location unkown, some time around October 1994
What would drive a man to lead a nation to war? Only God truly knows, I guess. o_0
Poem: Veterans, In Dust
Banzai!!! Oh my,
Another suicide run
When will those Japs ever be done?
Is this what they do for fun?
The ship's been holed
The deck's aflame
There's no one but
the Japs to blame
Pilots in Zero's
Thinking they're heroes
Diving head first
Erupting in flames
Metal against metal
Debris falls like rain
Weapons wrecked
And lives, the same
Courage and loyalty
In abundance they possess
But fanaticism and fatality
In them, in excess
Actually, we shouldn't blame the Japs
The Allies had the war under wraps.
They're dying to protect their land,
Doing their part, the best they can
Now veterans in dust,
That war's long past
But is there and answer to this question:
"Why war?" We ask
--> LT1, Raffles Institution, 4th October 1994
I've always been intrigued by the Defense of Japan at the closing stage of WWII. This is my attempt to even begin to understand the patriotic fervour they displayed then.
Another suicide run
When will those Japs ever be done?
Is this what they do for fun?
The ship's been holed
The deck's aflame
There's no one but
the Japs to blame
Pilots in Zero's
Thinking they're heroes
Diving head first
Erupting in flames
Metal against metal
Debris falls like rain
Weapons wrecked
And lives, the same
Courage and loyalty
In abundance they possess
But fanaticism and fatality
In them, in excess
Actually, we shouldn't blame the Japs
The Allies had the war under wraps.
They're dying to protect their land,
Doing their part, the best they can
Now veterans in dust,
That war's long past
But is there and answer to this question:
"Why war?" We ask
--> LT1, Raffles Institution, 4th October 1994
I've always been intrigued by the Defense of Japan at the closing stage of WWII. This is my attempt to even begin to understand the patriotic fervour they displayed then.
Monday, September 10, 2007
Poem: War and Greed
A cluttered street
Unmaintained, littered, dead.
People everywhere, dead, asleep
Some starving, dying, nothing to eat.
They arrived yesterday
Without a warning
There were here to stay
Along with those hundreds they slayed.
War and Conquest
Someone's not caring 'bout the rest
Someone filled with power-lust
Reducing others' lives to dust
But why?
The greed of someone so cruel and sly.
For hi troops, he would not cry
For to him, all in his way would have to die
But why?
Why?
There's no rhyme or reason
To commit this treason:
submission to war and greed,
Man's insane demons
--> LT1, Raffles Institution, 12th September 1994
My anguish, in reflection of the cruelty the Japanese troops inflicted on SE Asia, and how I would have felt if I were there at the time.
Unmaintained, littered, dead.
People everywhere, dead, asleep
Some starving, dying, nothing to eat.
They arrived yesterday
Without a warning
There were here to stay
Along with those hundreds they slayed.
War and Conquest
Someone's not caring 'bout the rest
Someone filled with power-lust
Reducing others' lives to dust
But why?
The greed of someone so cruel and sly.
For hi troops, he would not cry
For to him, all in his way would have to die
But why?
Why?
There's no rhyme or reason
To commit this treason:
submission to war and greed,
Man's insane demons
--> LT1, Raffles Institution, 12th September 1994
My anguish, in reflection of the cruelty the Japanese troops inflicted on SE Asia, and how I would have felt if I were there at the time.
Poem: The Test
Life is not a dream
Filled with glorious things
It may sparkle, it may gleam,
But life is never what it seems
Setbacks we all have to handle
Our ideals and dreams, beneath us crumble
In all our life we have been humbled
Our ideals and dreams, no more to fondle
But hold! Alas, not all is lost
forget not our friends in whom we trust
Be bold and face up to our tasks
and with help, we'll fight on to the last
Fear not if we've won or lost,
As long as we've done our best
Disregard what was the cost
It's good just to have faced the test
--> LT1, Raffles Institution, 12th September 1994
My desperate plea with myself to study for my 'O' levels. I really didn't like studying, and I guess I was really stressed out like everyone else. Oh well, thank God that He brought me through it all. :)
Filled with glorious things
It may sparkle, it may gleam,
But life is never what it seems
Setbacks we all have to handle
Our ideals and dreams, beneath us crumble
In all our life we have been humbled
Our ideals and dreams, no more to fondle
But hold! Alas, not all is lost
forget not our friends in whom we trust
Be bold and face up to our tasks
and with help, we'll fight on to the last
Fear not if we've won or lost,
As long as we've done our best
Disregard what was the cost
It's good just to have faced the test
--> LT1, Raffles Institution, 12th September 1994
My desperate plea with myself to study for my 'O' levels. I really didn't like studying, and I guess I was really stressed out like everyone else. Oh well, thank God that He brought me through it all. :)
The Newbie arrives on the Blogscene!
Mmmm, I wonder what to do with this blog, other than post my random musings and irrational bursts of ingenuity, hmmmm....
a) Chronicle my anguish over quitting Anarchy Online. (Cold turkey ftw!)
b) Talk about my hopes and dreams regarding full time ministry
c) Publish my old poetry collection, and appending more as I write
d) Track my (lack of) progress in regaining my teenage fitness levels. *dies*
e) Talk about Cantata and Choir, and crystallise my thoughts and reflections on BFC's environment
Well, Daphne (if you don't know her, she's my lovely wife :D ) tells me that I don't talk enough, so hopefully, a blog would help me to express myself abit more. Anyway, I need to find more constructive ways to kill time since I've quit playing AO.
Anyway, I'll probrably spend the next week or so wondering how to set up my poetry page, and another month trying to find my dusty notebook of poems. Perhaps I should start writing again.... :)
a) Chronicle my anguish over quitting Anarchy Online. (Cold turkey ftw!)
b) Talk about my hopes and dreams regarding full time ministry
c) Publish my old poetry collection, and appending more as I write
d) Track my (lack of) progress in regaining my teenage fitness levels. *dies*
e) Talk about Cantata and Choir, and crystallise my thoughts and reflections on BFC's environment
Well, Daphne (if you don't know her, she's my lovely wife :D ) tells me that I don't talk enough, so hopefully, a blog would help me to express myself abit more. Anyway, I need to find more constructive ways to kill time since I've quit playing AO.
Anyway, I'll probrably spend the next week or so wondering how to set up my poetry page, and another month trying to find my dusty notebook of poems. Perhaps I should start writing again.... :)
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