being a mummy is no joke. No joke when u get up in the middle of the nite when ur gal stirs a little in her sleep. No joke when u doze off while feeding her. No joke when u try to stay awake & joyful in the day to entertain her though u slept so little in the nite.
Motherhood is a journey of no return. Kinda a irreversible change. even when u feel tired, u can't take a break, unlike a corporate job whereby u clear ur leave n sleep well thru the nitez. Even if u feel exhausted todae, there is no turning back. When the little one cries, u juz have to get on, work on, go on, 24 hrs everydae. And tat requires lotsa energy.
i realise that despite the many chores i do each day in entertaining tis little gal, i wanna do more than juz fulfill her basic needs, like feeding or changing her diapers. i wanna teach. i wanna play with her. i wanna be a joyful mummy. And to do all these, basically, i need ENERGY n strength. Realised that i need to pray , pray n pray. As prayer is the foundation of the ministry, i guess, prayer too is the foundation of motherhood. haha....:)
i ask not for anytin great nor ambitious. In the past, i remember praying for " major things with targetted focus". But, somehow, God is teaching me these days to pray the "little" prayer in life. Not for any big miracle to happen in my life. But juz a simple prayer each day for a little more strength & joy to sustain me thru the day while i'm half-awake, energy & wisdom to educate tis little one in the way of the Lord. And with the passing of each day, i'm content to simply sleep 5 hrs a night, read the bible to the little one, and simply have 1 hr of free time to myself when Ter comes home to change shift!!! :) Indeed, i thank God for sustaining me!! :) God is good!Good when i sleep 2 hrs a nite, Good when i sleep 6 hrs a nite. As i sleep peacefully thru the nitez, i can't help but thank God that He has given little Kielli good sleep tat the whole family gets a good sleep too!!! :)
As a mummy, there's so much that i wanna protect the little & make sure that she sleeps, eats well & grows well. But, somehow, as i commit her to the Lord, God seems to be teaching me this lesson, to " let go " of tis daughter and give her to the Lord. i realise that tis little one belongs to God n is precious to Him. I can't be there 4 her 24hrs a day. But God will protect her everywhere, round the clock. So these days, b4 Ter & i sleep, we juz pray for her. And haha....we doze off peacefully thru the nite, knowing that should anytin reallie happen thru the nite when all is asleep, God is there to protect her!! Amen!! As the Lord forms her in my womb and knows even the no of hair on little Kielli, i know that God knows Kielli's temperment, temper, character than anyone of us. He has a plan for her. And, well, for Ter & us, we juz kinda have to be good stewardship of tis little one, to train her up in God's way to the best of our ability, that she can be used for God's glory and be wat God wants her to be, be it a roadsweeper, waitress, missionary, teacher, or a pastor's wifey????:PPP We will not know who she will be in the future. But we know, wherever God has called her to, there she will be most happy in God's will!!
This song been running thru my mind when i woke up tis morning. And i was blessed when it reminds me to be always down at the Lord's feet everyday, everywhere. I used to sing tis very often in my NTU campus crusade days n that was like 6 yrs back!! And i haven't been singing tis for sooo sooo long. But somehow, it juz surfaced up todae...here goes:
Down at ur feet Oh Lord, Is the most high place
In ur pressence Lord, i seek ur face, I seek ur face.
There is no higher calling, no greater honor
Than to bow n kneel b4 ur throne
I'm amazed by ur glory
Embraced by ur mercy
Oh Lord, i long to worship U.
I wonder if i got the later -part lyrics right. Seriously, i can't even remember the name of tis song. But, well, tis is wat i remembered to the best of my ability. Hopefully, i got them right.
Indeed, to be down at The Lord's feet is the most high place. As we get caught up in hectic ministry work, may we always remember that perhaps, the most important role we play is NOT a sunday school teacher, nor a youth leader, nor a wifey, nor a gf, nor a church leader. But our core role is simply to play the role of a child down at the feet of our gracious & loving Father, having a most intimate relationship, seeking comfort in the arms of our Father. How comforting is that....:)
Onli then will we be able to play the other roles in our lives well.
